Tick Tock Goes the Clock

Another poet is yet to be discovered



This is the poem D&G gave me to be reviewed by the critics, and after reviewing it myself I rated her 3/5, and she said I did that because I was her friend. Now the results are here, and it turned out that I have given her the lowest rating although she deserved more.

The poem:



Recess

(Dedicated to my friend Rabab)


I watch the clock

it ticks and tocks

learning LEARNING

ignites my yearning

to go out and play

every which way

Paper airplanes fly here and there

I look at the the teacher, she does’t care!

Tick Tock goes the clock

I stiffle a giggle, as she tucks in a squiggle

back into her chignon, and moves on

Quarter to two, I don’t know about you

but I can’t wait any longer

and it’s not just about the hunger

She askes a question,

She calls on me,

the clock chimes TWO,

I run outside with glee!



Copyright Drunk&Gorgious, 2004


Reviews



Review:

this was very whimsical it moved me to childhood and the joys of then. Well as for the poetry itself it needs to be refined just a bit. There are a few errors that can be quickly fixed. Capitalizing learning in the first stanza took away from the gentleness of your poetry, 2nd stanza 2nd line there is a misspelled word “does’t” and finally hunger at 1:45? Were you not fed at lunch? Or does the hunger mean learning? It was a nice poem, needs some tweaking but other than that I still rate it a 5. I do not take off for 3 or less typed errors heck we all make mistakes I do hope that this review is of great help to you and you will fix the problems that I have mentioned

Reviewed by

Christina V

(Expert Level)

Rated: 5/5

Review:

Tell your friend that she should keep writing! The poem is upbeat with vivid memories of waiting for the bell to move on.

This poem has a good flow.

Reviewed by

deeski

(Master Level)

Rated: 5/5



Review:

This is perfect for a first time piece. It was that sort of nursery rhyme kind of piece, but it was great. I would like to know how old your friend is, but tell her to keep writing

Reviewed by

JADAQUIN2000

(Expert Level)

Rated: 4/5



Review:

N i c e p o e m, w e l l w r i t t e n.

G o o d j o b, k e e p w r i t i n g.

Reviewed by

empire

(Master Level)

Rated : 4/5



Review:

This really is good for a first timer. She does appear to have talent and I am glad you’re encouraging her. We all need that. Nicely written with good imagery.

Reviewed by

abby

(National Judge Advocate)

Rated : 5/5




Review:

I loved this poem. It has this playful and whimsical innocence to it. It made me smile and took me back to my own days of elementary school and the fun I use to have at recess. Encourage your friend to keep writing, she is very talented indeed.

Reviewed by

Nickles

(Talented Level)


Rated: 5/5



Reviewer Rankings and Requirements

Reviewers are rated by Gavels as follows:

Title Star Rank Experience

Scholar Less than 10 Gavels At least 1 month

Proficient 11-35 Gavels At least 1 month

Experienced 36-60 Gavels At least 1 month

Skilled 61-100 Gavels At least 3 months

Talented 101-300 Gavels At least 3 months

Gifted 301-400 Gavels At least 3 months

Professional 401-500 Gavels At least 6 months

Expert 501-750 Gavels At least 6 months

Master 751-1000 Gavels At least 6 months

Judge Advocate 1001-3000 Gavels At least 6 months

National Judge Advocate More than 3000 Gavels At least 9 months

D&G; do you still think that I have been biased to you because I’m your friend?

Let me tell you girl; YOU ARE TALENTED Posted by Hello

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Q80-Chill Girl
    Oct 21, 2004 @ 10:46:00

    The girl is talented no doubt about it :} its enough she is determined to finish school after all, she has a lot in her. Congrats D’n’G now you have an official opinion 😀 oOo Thanx Rabab for taking the time to do thins :>.

    Reply

  2. Drunk'n'Gorgeous
    Oct 21, 2004 @ 11:56:00

    …… I’m shocked!

    Rabab thank you sooooo much for sending it! I totally didn’t expect that! …… I’m soo shocked!

    but see? They’re askin about my age haha They think I’m a kid 😛

    Again, thank you soooo much for encouraging me and sending it *Hugs Rabab* 🙂

    Q80-Chill Girl – Thank you 😛

    Agool Purg, …. 7arrah! haha

    Reply

  3. Purgatory
    Oct 21, 2004 @ 13:14:00

    DG,

    ok.

    Reply

  4. shady q80
    Oct 21, 2004 @ 15:30:00

    Very nice DnG.

    Rabab, you submit them for review at poetry.com?

    cheers.

    Reply

  5. AyyA
    Oct 22, 2004 @ 11:41:00

    D&G
    Three more dear and you’re on your own
    Good luck sweetie

    Review:
    This is a really cute poem. Not too long and full of great imagery. Ones we can all relate to, from days past in school. Good rhyme and good descriptions.
    Reviewed by
    judybd5
    (Talented Level)
    Rated 4/5

    Review:
    I really enjoyed it! Great rhythm and rhyme the tempo was consistent throughout this great piece. I especially liked the last stanza. It created such a wonderful image.
    Reviewed by
    tididasil
    (National Judge Advocate)
    Rated 4/5

    Review:
    I realty enjoyed that.
    Terrific work!
    The flow kept me going until
    the gleeful end.
    The title was well reflected
    by the body.
    Nicely rhymed and flowed.
    Great job!
    Reviewed by
    billego
    (Master Level)
    Rated 4/5
    ching ching

    Reply

  6. Drunk'n'Gorgeous
    Oct 22, 2004 @ 19:38:00

    Hmm…. I still suspect something is up.

    Okay Rabab, I’m going to write another poem later on to see if my “talent” is genuine or not, haha

    Thanks again sugah 😉

    Reply

  7. AyyA
    Oct 22, 2004 @ 23:53:00

    D&G
    Yeh, something is up, it’s you girl, just do it

    Reply

  8. marumba
    Oct 28, 2004 @ 16:33:00

    … D&G’s poetic playfullness muses the soul w certain childlike sensuality…:) i bet the character exemplifies her intrinsic poetic justice and her propensity to be a lovely Erato Muse herself.. i should like to meet this lovely creature myself .. perhaps we can make engaging n fun poetic music together…:)

    Reply

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