Where is Your Voice Blogger?

They asked, why did I disappear?
Why did I crumble as if an atom
In a thread of cigarette-smoke and vanish?
“Cat got your tongue!”
They wondered

Like a blind in the world of vision-dominated
Or was it the other way around!
(not sure any more)
I waited
And lost to the bunch

Lonely in my solitary, self-imposed
Up in the sky blue-snow white tower
Things did not make sense
One is vulnerable to a bunch
As is, to a punch
After a punch

I ran away
Ran away for shelter
Escaping dualism and
Immorality disguised as virtue
Sin is not sin when disguised
Tribalism is not prejudice
And ad hominem jurists
Are fair and sacred

Fake, even in their riches
Like Thai’s Louis Vuitton’s
Faded colors of
Genuine ethics
Lavishly living in villas
With little credits
And grand egos

In my country
We recognize humans
By last names only
And I don’t understand that
Like I don’t understand
All the above

These are my own kin
My skin
How could one run away from his skin?
Can one evolve to a chameleon to survive?
I have no idea
I only know that mountains grow
With prayers and wishes
Is just a cliché

Some pioneer bloggers still have hopes
While my hope has withered with time
Rotted by distance
And became
A self-prophecy
A wish that disappeared
In the haze

While some still carry hope stones
Ornamenting the roofs
Of their Net residence, in confidence,
Others diverted to, what you might call “privatization”
Or secularization through “Facebook”
Amidst fear, disgust, remorse
Or may be all the above
Like cockroaches, they scurried away
To their “space”, safe
Every time a fascist fatwa
Is switched on

In this region of the world
Publicity is the unforgivable sin
“Do it in private
And we’ll pretend we didn’t see”

50 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jewaira
    Oct 09, 2008 @ 12:33:44

    Don’t go private.


  2. حمودي
    Oct 09, 2008 @ 19:33:00

    هذا شعر ؟


  3. AyyA
    Oct 09, 2008 @ 19:44:12

    Lady J
    Yes, mam


  4. AyyA
    Oct 09, 2008 @ 19:44:53

    شعر ثقيل شوي


  5. AyyA
    Oct 09, 2008 @ 20:15:02

    Actually lady J, I’m against bloggers going private, I believe it’s a loss


  6. ayamaline
    Oct 10, 2008 @ 00:38:57

    …why so serious, is this because my previous ‘atheists are monkeys’ comment? look am sorry, I was just teasing, just playin with u…


  7. AyyA
    Oct 10, 2008 @ 17:45:44

    The world does not revolve around you, you know
    Just kidding
    The truth is that I have been looking for a monkey as a pet, and I can’t find an atheist among them; they’re all believers.
    Is there anyway you can help?



  8. ayamaline
    Oct 10, 2008 @ 20:42:16

    Say Whaaaaaaat…What do you mean the world does not revolve around me?! Like am not the center of universe?!! you cant just utter such nonsense and get away with it! Extraordinary CLAIMS require extraordinary evidence, you know!
    And of course you wouldn’t find an atheist monkey, they are not that dumb, blockheaded, arrogant self absorbed nitwits… you know!
    But am sure you’d find one amongst simpler life forms!



  9. AyyA
    Oct 10, 2008 @ 20:52:26

    Do I understand from your comment that atheism is the origin, the propensity, and not Islam as we’ve been fooled for ages by our eggplant-headed, Islamic experts?


  10. ayamaline
    Oct 10, 2008 @ 22:45:55

    Well I don’t know about the very first bunch of single celled organisms being practicing muslims per say (Define Muslims, Islam)… but am sure they had some idea as of who created them, so I wouldn’t call them atheists neither … assuming that the evolution THEORY (there is much more to evolution than random mutation and natural selection, so yeah it’s not an established fact yet, not the entirety of it anyway) is accurate and that simple life forms were the origin…

    P.s. I cant believe you brought up the term ORIGIN, it’s atheism weakest point, am giving you a pass this time, but be carful one day when am not feeling so generous I may use some of my Knock Down arguments… Naa i wouldn’t do that to you :p


  11. AyyA
    Oct 11, 2008 @ 01:35:48

    “there is much more to evolution than random mutation and natural selection, so yeah it’s not an established fact yet, not the entirety of it anyway”
    “you cant just utter such nonsense and get away with it! Extraordinary CLAIMS require extraordinary evidence”

    These are your words!
    Contradictory now, are we?


  12. ayamaline
    Oct 11, 2008 @ 02:56:23

    contradictory i am not.


  13. Arabs in Space
    Oct 11, 2008 @ 11:29:51


    it changed the way i look to things

    regards Ayya,


  14. AyyA
    Oct 11, 2008 @ 20:00:20

    whatever :p


  15. AyyA
    Oct 11, 2008 @ 20:31:47

    Very informative clip dear, and I agree with most of what it contained. But mind you, I did not understand the proposal or the alternative solution. What is the mechanism of the proposed project? How technology can be accomplished without the monetary system to back its development?
    But then again I guess it’s me who never understood the monetary system (although 99.9% of my family is in the money business).
    One point was raised in the clip, which was about fear and how it is manipulated to serve political agendas (religion included). Daniel Gardner in his book, “The Science of Fear- Why We Fear the Things We Shouldn’t- and Put Ourselves in Greater Danger” sails in the field of psychology to put the reader’s mind in perspective of things. And I think you would immensely enjoy the book.
    As for me; I am an observer, I believe that humans have to go through crises to adjust systems (social, financial, political, etc.), but unfortunately this adjustment is not without a price with the existing, dominant systems. Any radical solutions will also have its shortcoming. What I care to know is what are the disadvantages before the advantages. And to me the clip was not clear, particularly, on this point.


  16. The Expert
    Oct 16, 2008 @ 14:45:29

    G’ Day AyyA,

    Its long time ….. So how are you ???

    My mood is like a cloudy noon
    Waiting for the sun,
    Or like a sailing ship that can’t
    Set sail without the tide.

    I fidget in my emptiness,
    Not knowing where to run;
    Yet when you’re near I can’t explain
    What’s going on inside.

    It’s too bad feelings swim so deep,
    Too deep for anyone
    To grasp them as they squiggle through
    And take them for a ride.

    By Nicholas Gordon


  17. ولاّدة
    Oct 18, 2008 @ 11:30:30

    عظمة يا ست


  18. AyyA
    Oct 18, 2008 @ 21:21:02

    The Expert
    I apologize dear for my laziness in replying earlier, I haven’t been feeling well. Even now while I type these words I have sharp spasms of pain in my stomach. It started with a flu that did not last too long, but was trailed by a lot of coughing and mucus, until I felt my longs all cleared up, to start with the spasms, that has lasted now for three days. Neither natural charcoal helped nor plain, 0-fat yogurt. But today, I’m much better than yesterday, the spasms lightened in intensity, and they’re not so often as they used to be, but they did not completely disappear, I hope by tomorrow they will.
    Thanks sweetie for your sporadic visits and for the joy you brought to me by the lovely words of Nicholas Gordon.


  19. AyyA
    Oct 18, 2008 @ 21:23:36

    الاميره الحالمه
    اخجلتم تواضعنا، و فرحتوا القلب بزيارتكم الميمونه
    لكي تحياتي و مودتي دائما يا خليله الروح


  20. The Expert
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 09:03:59

    SALAMAT …..

    Are you still in USA ?


  21. silhouette
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 15:30:54

    الغالية آيا

    بدأت التدوين بداية متواضعة,, أنت ممن شجعوني لأبدأ,, خذي الإجازة التي تحتاجينها وعودي لنا أكثر إشراقاً



  22. silhouette
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 15:33:05

    الغالية آيا

    كتبت تعليق ولم يظهر

    لقد بدات التدوين ولك الفضل في تشجيعي,, خذي الإجازة التي تحتاجينها وعودي لنا اكثر إشراقاً



  23. AyyA
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 19:10:49

    The Expert
    Thanks dear, and yes; I am still in USA


  24. AyyA
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 19:20:10

    مبرووووووووك، سآزورك عن قريب

    بالنسبه للتعليق فالورد برس له خاصيه الفلتره، فإذا كان به رابط مثلا يعتبره النظام سبازم و يطلب مني التأكيد. فلا يظهر الا بعد تأكيدي عليه انه غير ذلك. المره الجايه علقي حتي لو لم يظهر لديك التعليق، فهو يظهر عندي٠


  25. mosan
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 13:13:24

    I loved your thoughts and discriptions ,,,

    miss u


  26. شكوكو غير شكوكو بن كريشان
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 20:59:36

    سوسو وأييييوه

    فيلم نسائي مرعب


  27. AyyA
    Oct 21, 2008 @ 17:43:27

    Mosano babe
    I missed you too sweetheart


  28. AyyA
    Oct 21, 2008 @ 17:46:16

    بمناسبه أعياد الهارفست و الهالويين سمحنا لك بالتعليق هنا
    But please don’t test my patience


  29. شكوكو غير شكوكو بن كريشان
    Oct 22, 2008 @ 10:53:41

    Oum Kalthoum – Lesobrehdood

    بتظلموا شكوكو ليه
    كلنا حنرقص يوم القيامه


  30. Arfana
    Oct 22, 2008 @ 23:18:58

    I loved it
    but it made me feel a bit guilty

    On the other hand, I think we’ve wasted enough time fighting back rediculos fattawi… time to stress the opposite.. don’t u think?

    Btw…. I met monkies on my last trip to Malaysia. You have to see the pictues 😉


  31. rania
    Oct 23, 2008 @ 01:10:53

    بمناسبه أعياد الهارفست و الهالويين
    اضع لك صور

    على مدونتي
    احترامي يا أستاذتي


  32. AyyA
    Oct 23, 2008 @ 18:56:43

    خليك بعيد و ارقص لوحدك
    انا احب اتفرج عليك


  33. AyyA
    Oct 23, 2008 @ 19:13:11

    The BB (bold and beautiful)
    And since it made you feel guilty, may be it’s time to get fiercely bolder!
    And what did you mean by the opposite of fighting back fattawi, do you mean making peace with them? Something like what Ali Alrashid and Saleh Almulla did with the Halloween gang. LOOOOL
    I’m sure you didn’t
    Anyway sweetie; I’m sure some mass action is needed, but doubt it’s occurrence, meanwhile we’ll keep whining like the first wife of a polygamist, but don’t go private.
    Any idea, where to begin this mass action though?

    Btw; I posted a long Arabic comment on your last post, it did not appear, which made me mad, and where are the pictures of the monkeys? I’d love to see them.


  34. AyyA
    Oct 23, 2008 @ 19:16:15

    الغاليه رانيا
    You made my day :*


  35. شكوكو غير شكوكو بن كريشان
    Oct 23, 2008 @ 21:25:40

    خليك بعيد و ارقص لوحدك
    انا احب اتفرج عليك

    ضرب الحبيب زي اكل الزبيب


  36. hanan
    Oct 24, 2008 @ 12:41:06

    This is amazing Ayya. And it is so touching and horrifying that I understand all this. To be a stranger in your own land, in your own home, and to feel that you have no option but to leave, knowing that leaving your physical ‘space’ does not free your mental existence there. So you (we) disappear. To feel that your ethics are seen, even by your loved ones, as non-ethics because they go against how the country chooses to define ethics, or is it redefine ethics?

    But I am using your space. Thank you for this poem. The sense of belonging you give me in your writing is uplifting, even if presented, as it is here, in a rather pessimistic spirit.

    Get your grove back Ayya. Have hope. Have faith (but not their false faith) :*


  37. AyyA
    Oct 24, 2008 @ 19:10:21

    هذا كلام تقص فيه علي حبيبتك او زوجتك، اما انا فضد الضرب حتي لو لم يكن مبرحا، و لم يترك اثر (عشر ضربات بالمسواك)
    و بعدين منو يحب ياكل الزبيب حاف؟
    بصراحه مثل سخيف يقنن الهمجيه و يسن شريعه الغاب


  38. AyyA
    Oct 24, 2008 @ 19:23:24

    You know what? Names do portray one’s personality. Hanan or “mercy?” is what I feel when I see your comment.
    As for hope or faith; the way things going right now does not indicate that we are going anywhere but downhill, not even a single thread that we can hold on to. The only way to regain faith, at least in my perception, is to anticipate a radical change, and that’s very unlikely to happen, the other way is to lower one’s expectation, and live on the leftovers, which, to be honest with you, I can’t do.
    Glad to know that my words were uplifting to your spirit, that’s the spirit of the blogger, and I hope it won’t wither with time.


  39. شرقاوي
    Oct 25, 2008 @ 00:11:14

    Ayya, Ayya, Ayya,

    Technically, atoms don’t “crumble”. They either get ionized, or split.

    I am nit-picking. I know.

    But you gave the ammunition, after reading this post several times, in the hope to see a new one soon.

    Sorry, I am a nerd!



  40. AyyA
    Oct 25, 2008 @ 00:58:35

    You should have read the other part; crumble in a thread of smoke (with other atoms). In this case it neither splits nor ionizes, or am I mistaken nerd?


  41. شرقاوي
    Oct 25, 2008 @ 16:50:08

    Things that crumble: cookies, gorgonzola cheese,
    خبز رقاق،
    but not atoms.

    However since poets are allowed more latitude than us, mortal souls, atoms do “crumble” in a wisp of smoke (sometimes, I must add, since poetic license allows it.)

    Let the atoms crumble (Oh, how gauche this sounds.)



  42. شكوكو غير شكوكو بن كريشان
    Oct 25, 2008 @ 20:05:19

    اوه ما سمعت عن فتوى تجيز للزوجة ضرب زوجها دفاعاً عن نفسها



  43. AyyA
    Oct 25, 2008 @ 20:33:48

    And now that you have given me the poet’s license to crumble the atom, may I split one by asking you why did you stop posting on your blog?
    Ok, no need to answer this one, but I have the right to know- as an avid reader of your blog- why did you erase all your old posts?
    Love to tease a nerd


  44. شرقاوي
    Oct 26, 2008 @ 06:26:24

    I owe you an answer, but I could not find your e-mail adress on your blog, since you asked the first time.


  45. Arfana
    Oct 26, 2008 @ 22:27:41

    No No no peace. I’m saying we should move on and beyond having to defend our point of view! There’s a fatwa for everything we fight for. Fighting back fatawi is so draining and stupid. There’s no point to it but making them worth more than they are.

    At the same time, I believe we should exercise tolerance to individual beliefs. We shouldn’t be rudely attacking what other think, though we can discuss it politely 🙂

    This is another form of time wasted because we’ll never finish with the name calling lol


  46. Arfana
    Oct 26, 2008 @ 22:30:09


  47. Arfana
    Oct 26, 2008 @ 22:30:38


  48. شرقاوي
    Oct 27, 2008 @ 00:34:29

    got it. You may erase it now.


  49. AyyA
    Oct 27, 2008 @ 17:46:04

    The BB
    LOOL, I know sweetie, I was just pulling your leg. And the monkey are so sweet, but I don’t know how on earth I missed that post!


  50. AyyA
    Oct 27, 2008 @ 17:48:13

    Aye Aye Sir



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