Freedom; That Sin

They say I want to be me
They say I want to be shamelessly free
As if freedom is a nude diva
Atop the Grand Mosque
And humiliating
The palace of justice
And its arrogantly tilted scale
With chauvinistic pride

You see
They don’t understand
They just don’t understand what is freedom
To the enslaved
Caved and
Of all senses.
Like a zombie treading
To no apparent location
No love
No care
Not even remorse
In fact, nothing
But counting days
Endless long days
To, perhaps, see the day

Wishful thinking!
May be
But better be fooled than believe

Freedom is a fantasy
A reverie and
A that long
Eros plagued
Waiting to come
To release
Back to her senses
Her humanity
Her femininity

If you agree
Then you must be that fool that
Stole my shadow
And reached the endless abyss
Of total darkness, nothingness
And lost forever her,
I repeat, her
To no definition
Nor dimension
But a thread of hope
For you must be that inferior woman
Ruled by
Pious testicles

But if you think otherwise
Then tell me;
What’s wrong with being free?
Or better yet
What’s right

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. harmonie22
    Jan 18, 2008 @ 05:44:29

    You funny profound poet!
    Ayya this is brilliant!
    Pious testicles!!

    Here’s a passage for you from William Blake’s “Visions of the Daughters of Albion” that somehow comes to mind after reading your good work:

    They told me that the night & day were all that I could see;
    They told me that I had five senses to inclose me up.
    And they inclos’d my infinite brain into a narrow circle,
    And sunk my heart into the Abyss, a red round globe hot burning
    Till all from life I was obliterated and erased.


  2. XTC
    Jan 18, 2008 @ 12:10:57

    Hi Ayya,

    Very interesting and intriguing poem you have there!

    I will pick up on the issue of freedom if you don’t mind … I am one of the minority (at least I never met too many others who share my views) who believe in the absolute freedom!!
    Yes might be too extreme but I honesty and sincerely believe in the absolute freedom ….the freedom which knows no boundaries .. I always despised the general rule that your freedom ends when it infringes on someone else’s freedom …I hate that!
    We cant freedom be absolute ? why can every one say or do their will?? Argument against that is we will create a state of chaos??? Worse that this???? Wake up ..we are already living and breathing chaos! And worse we cant or say anything about it …
    I would rather do and express my feelings and living in chaos rather than being deprived from all my rights and STILL live in chaos!

    Some try to put limitations on freedom …well cant dissect freedom comes as a package ..either take it all ..or leave it all …you are not in a supermarket where you can choose what freedoms are OK ..and what are not! So what if freedom means insults to the religion is a religion (any religion) is sooo fragile that it would be tumbling down because someone expressed his freedom?? If so …I don’t think this religion worth to be followed!

    What about the rights of other people who are sensitive … sensitive to what freedom?? Freedom is by definition is being able to do or say what is on your mind freely …even if that means masturbating in the top of the grand mosque …
    No one said that freedom comes for free …you might be faced with severe consequences …but you willingly accepted to be faced by them …look at our lives today ..we are censored to talk about anything …. politics, sex, religion and the list goes on and on …and it’s a slippery slope ..once you give up one of your freedoms …the rest will follow …

    I stand corrected …I still believe in absolute freedom whatever the costs might be!!


  3. greyshorts
    Jan 18, 2008 @ 14:40:19

    Provocative , entertaining and superb .


  4. silhouette
    Jan 18, 2008 @ 23:57:04

    Hi AyyA

    I enjoyed reading this piece

    love you


  5. Muhajer
    Jan 19, 2008 @ 01:10:50


    I agree with you on absolute freedom of expression, whether it is through oral or written communication or through art. However there should be limits on physical freedoms. For example a 300 pound man can not be allowed to attack a 100 pound women.

    The rules on physical freedoms are the ones that stop us from going into complete Chaos. I know that you have an opinion that we are living in Chaotic world, but that word takes on a different meaning in a place like Iraq. Where the powerful have complete physical freedom to do what they want, due to the lack of strong government that can enforce laws.

    I think we agree on this, but I saw you use the word “do” in your comment which may be misinterpreted.


  6. XTC
    Jan 19, 2008 @ 14:27:20


    I am glad that you agree (partly at least) with my notion on freedom …but I am bit disappointed that you choose to put an example about physical freedom which is not appropriate …attacks on another person is not freedom …its aggression! 🙂

    Let us not start the platonic dialogue that what if expressing my freedom tells me I should attack that women …I mean come on …lets be more civilized and discuss things rationally …

    I mean I can see that attack as being a part of physical freedom …so what if a 300 lbs man attacks an 100 lbs women let it be ..but then he have to deal with the consequences of his misinterpretation of what freedom actually means because she could draw her 9 mm and create a hole in the middle of his eyes?

    We both know these are not good examples of freedom … but will they actually happen …you bet …but this is not the norm nor will it ever be!

    No one said that the prince of freedom is cheap!

    Regarding Iraq, I don’t see the situation there as being chaotic …why? I see Iraq as being in state of Anarchy rather than chaos …which I think is very swell …!

    We can enter into discussion about chaos and anarchism anytime you want… but giving you a heads up I am an Anarchist myself not a die-had anarchist …but i believe that anarchy has the solution of many of our problems!

    I know ..we started talking about freedoms then I found myself talking about anarchy! I assure you was never planned nor do they have to be related ..although I would personally like …but its only me!


  7. Saudi in US
    Jan 19, 2008 @ 20:55:04

    Dear XTC,

    I think a discussion about Anarchy can be interesting. In general I do not subscribe to that thinking based on practicality not philosophy. I know enough about the topic to have a discussion (probably not as much as you), but that topic can get lengthy. So it may be better to focus on freedoms.

    I think we differ on the definition of absolute. In my mind this is very critical and it is the difference on what freedoms should be allowed in Physical vs Expression. Absolute means it is not bound by social rules (i.e. norms). I know the example I used is extreme, but I used it for this exact purpose. Can physical freedoms be absolute and be allowed to go beyond norms? In my opinion No.

    Can Expression be allowed to go beyond norms? In my opinion Yes. Expression must be “absolute.”

    Note: Ayya’s elegant poem, went beyond norms for her society. However, she should have the freedom of expression to write it and publish it.

    This can be a very interesting discussion, especially of start introducing topics like right to property and the like.

    Best regards


  8. Muhajer
    Jan 19, 2008 @ 21:08:29

    Sorry XTC, The last post was me. Some how it picked up my ID from another site in the text ID field.


  9. XTC
    Jan 21, 2008 @ 09:27:24

    Dear Muhajer,

    I will not go into details about anarchy as we both agree that it is a lengthy discussion and this is not the right place nor time for such one…(but I disagree with you on anarchy not being the solution) ok ok …I said I wont talk about anarchy and I did …my bad!

    As for freedom (which is the just of the issue here) I think we can to a semi-agreement on freedom …ok I agree with the absolute freedom of expression (like you do) but we differ on physical freedom.
    Well my point is that freedom cannot be dissected …you cannot pick and chose what freedoms you want and what freedoms you don’t …why? Simple because once you give up one freedom you will then have to compromise another and another ..see my point? It’s a slippery slope!
    So in a perfect world (I know the world will never be perfect) all freedoms are absolute!
    And freedom of expression is only good if you practice what you preach! So I think that freedom of expression and the physical freedom can only go hand in hand ..!

    Thank you very much Ayya for your lovely poem and for raising such an interesting issue!


  10. mochmoch
    Jan 23, 2008 @ 10:01:42

    the ultimate freedom is freedom from the self! freedom from desires from wants from needs from attachments… By Be-Ing you become free 😀

    Lovely piece thank you for sharing!


  11. AyyA
    Jan 23, 2008 @ 18:27:52

    Hi guys, and sorry for taking so long to reply, I was traveling across the world and had few things to sort out. And each of your comments needed its special attention for the sensitivity of the issue, on one hand, and because I care to give each its rightful time, on the other, so here I start.


  12. AyyA
    Jan 23, 2008 @ 18:31:20

    Glad sweetie that you liked the poem. And thanks for the lovely contribution from Blake’s. loved it :*


  13. AyyA
    Jan 23, 2008 @ 19:11:17

    XTC & Muhajer
    I would love to believe in the “absolute freedom”, but I am a practical person, so I should know that absolute freedom is not possible. Freedom is responsibility, and man has to develop mentally before taking that responsibility. The real investment is in the mind of humans and their ability to interact in the society, for the sake of building and not demolishing. Humans should develop interdependence before asking for absolute freedom. The biggest obstacle hindering this interdependence today, as I see it, is religion. Religion encourages dependence and tribalism. The responsibility is thrown on an imaginary figure, a father figure who takes care of everything. Once this obstacle is out of the way, then we can say that each of us had developed a gauge to monitor one’s conduct and to know where is the boundary of our freedom.
    Now regardless of the wars and the atrocities of the world today, if we look at the big picture, wars are not as common, nor as accepted by the majority in the world as they were centuries ago. Human mentality is heading toward rationality, with or without religion. It has been a slow process in the past because the world was bigger and there were no immediate interaction with those who are different. But today the situation has drastically changed when the world became smaller in a very short time span.
    And no, I do not believe that one’s limit of freedom is dependant on another’s boundaries, simply because that notion is very general, and when it comes to freedom one has to be specific where to draw the line. But this line should be in accordance with universal human laws, the laws that were part of human development, and not those dictated by religions.


  14. AyyA
    Jan 23, 2008 @ 19:16:08

    Passionate, encouraging and to the point
    Thanks darling


  15. AyyA
    Jan 23, 2008 @ 19:19:12

    Glad you enjoyed it. Why don’t you start writing poetry, Arabic poetry that is. I see that you have the potential 😉
    And I love you more :*
    I don’t know why, when I see your comments these words come to mind
    I have a dream
    A sun to see
    To help me cope with


  16. AyyA
    Jan 23, 2008 @ 19:31:43

    Years of practicing Raja Yoga have taught me that ultimate freedom is innate. It’s when one is free from wants and desires as well as attachments . But life had shown me that this is not possible in it’s absolute form. Actually, life had taught me that there are no absolutes, but there are moderation and rationality. Wants and desires are part of our nature as human beings, if we got free of them, then we are not humans anymore. Wants and desires are our dynamo in this life to build our societies, and us. But they only have to be coupled by our rationality.
    Thanks for the lovely contribution.


  17. mochmoch
    Jan 24, 2008 @ 08:15:36

    Thank you Ayya yes i totally agree with you but theres a difference between wants and desires and longing for something… to not allow those wants or desires rule you, to be constantly reminded that you are always complete that if u dont get that something that doesnt mean that ur incomplete. Just to realise that those wants are a seperate entity from you and you are the master of them not the other way around 🙂


  18. AyyA
    Jan 24, 2008 @ 09:17:58

    Dear Mochmoch
    I do agree with you completely. But I call that knowing one’s worth by not connecting that to anything else, or anyone. Some may call that ego, but in my dictionary, it is not. Egoism is bad when one sees it as something to brag about and to belittle others. Actually egoism is a sign of disordered personality, and a cover up for a feeling of incompatibility. But when it becomes a love relation between yourself and what you are as a human being, and what you have accomplished so far, this becomes healthy. It gives the incentive to always strive for the best. Loving oneself is essential for loving others. It’s proactive and not reactive.
    Sorry for misunderstanding your first comment, and thanks for your reply.


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