The Awakening

Today I woke up a bit late for breakfast. So I decided to put on my heavy jacket and head to the nearby Starbucks while the boys were still asleep. I ordered a tall Americano and sat outside under the heavenly warm California sun reading my book. Every time I raised my head from the book, I caught a glimpse of a friendly gesture from a passerby greeting me. This may be a very simple act, which may not mean much to others, but to me it meant a lot. It reminded me to appreciate my existence.
dsc01940_2_2.JPG I realized that since I came here, I never for one second posed to see how beautiful things are around me. I was too consumed in my duties to accommodate the boys and didn’t really notice the tall tree right outside the hotel I reside in, nor paid attention to how beautiful bare trees looked during this time of the year, as if by shamelessly stripping naked, they were defying the cold and declaring their freedom. Freedom of their past attachments, so that they would strengthen their connection to me. Those trees taught me to give up my own attachment so I can appreciate this connection to nature. Connection is freedom; and this sense of freedom that I feel here is indescribable. This freedom does not imply having excess in life pleasures, as many misinterpret, it’s rather a state of mind. It’s what I feel right now by being the sole controller of my life, of my thoughts and actions.
I started talking to the trees on my way back and to my astonishment they talked back. One of them told me the secret of “Rose and Chris” who must’ve spent sometime underneath it drawing a red heart, and I wondered what happened to them. Another one seemed too shy to strip from its leaves; it just colored them red-orange to attract my attention, and mirror the beauty and glow of my own face. The vine shaped leaves were easy with the wind, as I was easy with my thoughts.
The sense of divinity in my spirit was electrified by the movement of everything around me; I realized how nature was close to my being, that I confused it with my own being. The being that I have forgotten in the chaos of life, the burdens of responsibilities, the misgiving of the solitary confinement I forced on myself in my own country. Life seems so beautiful, why are we living only at its edge?
Good morning stranger, I may not know you, but I carry lots of love to your simple gesture and awakening smile. You may not be aware of your deed, but you reminded me of what I miss the most back home, you reminded me that I am alive.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. iDip
    Dec 20, 2006 @ 04:29:56

    🙂

    Reply

  2. shopa
    Dec 20, 2006 @ 06:09:16

    I was there too ;p

    Reply

  3. AyyA
    Dec 20, 2006 @ 10:50:03

    iDip
    I can almost see your face smiling, never can forget it, and you know when was that 😀

    Shpa
    Ah, no wonder I felt such a serge of awakening :p

    Reply

  4. أنوار
    Dec 20, 2006 @ 14:49:34

    عزيزتي أيا أردت أن أحكي لكي وأطلب منك تفسيرا منطقيا عما سأحكيه لك وما دمت لا تصدقين إلا بما يعقله عقلك فقط فأرجوك أن نفسري لي بصدق عن ذلك الحلم وأقسم لك بالله أن هذا الحلم حقا وليس لك عليّ قسم ولكن وجب ذلك”

    رايت يوما أنني أقف في الشرفة ويقف بجانبي موسى عليه السلام وأنني أتكلم مع الله عز وجل وأقلت له مثلما قال موسى (ربي أرني أنظر إليك)

    فقال لي الله سبحانه وتعالى تقريبا كما قال لموسى عليه السلام أنني لن أراه وأمرني أن أنظر إلى الجبل فنظرت ورأيت نورا ساطعا ثم أغمي علي ثم استيقظت.
    وبعد أن استيقظت
    فإذا بأخي يقول لي لقد رايت لك حلما: رأيت أنك نائمة وأنه يوجد ضوء مسلط عليك من الشرفة وحاولت أن انظر إلى هذا الضوء لم أستطع لشدته.
    …………….

    حسنا فسري لي ذلك فإذا كنت سوف تقولين عن حلمي عقل باطن فما بالك بأخي..

    وقد قال صلى الله عليه وسلم تفسيراًلقوله تعالى : لهم البشرى في الحياة الدنيا وفي الآخرة:
    فقال أن البُشرى هي الرؤيا الصالحة يراها المرء أو تُرى له.

    فيالها من بشرى

    اتبعي الحق وارجعي إليه فالله حق ولقائه حق والجنة حق والنار حق والنبيون حق والساعة آتية لا ريب فيها

    وسأضرب لك مثلا بسيط
    لقد أخبرنا الحبيب (ص)في حديث طويل لن أذكره لطوله أن من علامات الساعة أن يتفاكهون بسب الآباء والأمهات.
    ألا تلاحظين أنه كان منذ عهد قريب لو قال أحد لأحد كلمة فيها أمكَ أو أباكَ
    لقامت الدنيا وما قعدت ولقد شهدت هذا الزمان منذ عهد قريب ,أماالآن أصبحت أمشي في الشارع فأسمع رجلان يقول أحدهما للآخر: يا ابن الكذا فأظنه شجارا فأنظر فإذا هم يمزحون مع بعض .. من أين علم رسول الله أنه سوف يأتي زمان يسب فيه بالأم والأب مزاحا.؟؟
    إنه لا ينطق عن الهوى

    واسمعي عن علاقة ديننا بالأديان الأخرى قال (ص):

    يحشر الله العباد يوم القيامة عراة غرلا بهماً . قال : قلنا : وما بُهما ؟ قال : ليس معهم شيء ، ثم يناديهم بصوت يسمعه من بعد كما يسمعه من قرب : أنا الديان ، أنا الملك ، لا ينبغي لأحد من أهل النار أن يدخل النار وله عند أحد من أهل الجنة حق حتى أقصه منه ، ولا ينبغي لأحد من أهل الجنة أن يدخل الجنة ولأحد من أهل النار عنده حق حتى أقصه منه حتى اللطمة . قال : قلنا : كيف وإننا نأتي عراة غرلا بهما ؟ قال : الحسنات والسيئات
    الراوي: عبدالله بن أنيس – خلاصة الدرجة: إسناده حسن – المحدث: المنذري – المصدر: الترغيب والترهيب – الصفحة أو الرقم: 4/303

    فلا تظنين أن ديننا يبيح ظلم الآخر

    وقد قال صلى الله عليه وسلم :
    من آذى ذميا فأنا خصمه يوم القيامة

    وكان يقول :إن الله يعطي على الرفق ما لا يعطي على غيره

    حاولي أن تقرأي في الأحاديث النبوية والأحاديث القدسية وجزء تبارك وجزء عم الجزء الأخير

    Reply

  5. soud13
    Dec 20, 2006 @ 14:59:57

    أما أخبرتك أنه سوف يقام عليك الحد بوما ما 😉

    أه تعبت عيونى من الأنجلش

    Reply

  6. AyyA
    Dec 20, 2006 @ 21:29:48

    Anwar
    I think you and your brother are too much into the Phantom of Islam that the nerves of your brains fired and wired together in the path of myth, and I think you both need to see a shrink before declaring that you are the reincarnation of Moses, and your brother is Aaron.
    Sis; 7adith al3aqil bima yo3qal, and quit reading fairytale stories before going to bed 😀

    And about Islam being tolerant to other religions; please spare me, do not give me one 7adeath that gives this proof, while Quran and Tradition of the prophet Mohammad is full of hatred to Christians and Jews (I’m sure you know where to find those), so don’t shed the sun by a broken sunglass.

    Soud
    Do you think I should stay where I am :p
    Salamat 3yoonik yal 7abeeb

    Reply

  7. Arfana
    Dec 21, 2006 @ 09:35:51

    Ayya,

    I love your post!
    It’s so true. We get so consumed with negative energy that we never celebrate good times as much as we complain of negative times.

    I find that in myself a lot. For example, I blog when I have a negative emotion: anger, frustration, depression,…etc But I don’t blog often enough when I’m happy. “from my track lately you can tell that i’ve been extremely happy lol”

    Enjoy every moment while you’re there. I know the kids may be a challenge but then.. let them ykhabsoon as much as they want too 🙂

    LoL love your reply to anwar 🙂

    Reply

  8. AyyA
    Dec 21, 2006 @ 11:00:00

    One thing I miss sweetie is passing by the people I love in blog-o-sphere for the shortage of time. Believe me I steal these moments 😉
    Marry Christmas and have a happy New Year.

    Reply

  9. NewMe
    Dec 21, 2006 @ 13:08:25

    Ohh how much did I miss your words and the serenity it brings to my world…
    Ayya happy holidays my dear 🙂
    wishing you love and all the best in life
    enjoy and keep us posted
    CHEERS

    Reply

  10. AyyA
    Dec 21, 2006 @ 23:49:31

    NewMe
    Glad I brought that smile to your face sweetie, happy holidays to you too :*

    Reply

  11. white wings
    Dec 22, 2006 @ 00:10:10

    ayya darling, are you really in California?
    When and how and why? 🙂
    enjoy and take it all in: the trees, the ocean, people’s smiles and relaxed manners (we rarely have those around)
    laugh and dance and shop…
    all the best

    Reply

  12. AyyA
    Dec 22, 2006 @ 10:49:38

    WW
    Yes sweetie I’ve been here a bit over two weeks taking my boys to college. The trees greeted me with love, the ocean is too cold, but I compensated that with the warmth of people especially at this time of the year when Christmas sprit is all around. So far I have been busy, and part of my business is to enjoy it all, la tewaseen 7arees 😀
    Thanks sweetie for your well wishes and happy holidays :*

    Reply

  13. ولاّدة
    Dec 23, 2006 @ 10:55:34

    شكراً على المتعة التي جلبتها لي رقة كلماتك صديقتي
    تمنياتي للأولاد بتجربة غنية …وتمنياتي لكِ برحلة ممتعه

    Reply

  14. AyyA
    Dec 24, 2006 @ 23:14:51

    Princess
    Being here especially at this time of the year brings a special feeling to my heart. Even the lousy education session in the parliament couldn’t change my mood. It’s what the westerners call the spirit of Christmas.
    Since I left the states after being here for seven years, this is the time of the year that I missed the most. Thanks for your well wishing sweet friend and have a happy holiday :*

    Reply

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