The Day Before School Starts

A poem written by a poetess of an online poetry workshop I’m registered in. It was #6 in the top 100 Humorous category last year. I just loved it and asked the permission of my friend Connie Minshew aka shakysphere to publish it on my blog. I know you will like it, enjoy:

The Day before School Starts

to parents of many children

‘Twas the day before school starts, when all through the house
The children were quarreling over the mouse!
“It’s not FAIR!”, yelled Ben, “Bea has played for an hour!”
“I’m in the middle of a GAME!”, whined she, with a glower.

My wife and I bristled, and I hopped out of bed,
While all thoughts of intimacy popped out of our heads.
For my wife in her teddy, and I in my chaps
Had just settled down for a mid-afternoon “nap”.

Then out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I threw on my robe to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash,
Raised up the mini-blinds, and threw up the sash.

Our children played baseball, and our youngest batter
Had hit a “homer”; The neighbor’s pane shattered!
Then, what to my worried eyes should appear,
But my neighbor, and an officer bringing up the rear.

“You MUST supervise those children, and pay
For Mr. Smith’s window with a check…today!”
More rapid than greyhounds, and chattering like birds,
They blamed the damage on each other, with echoing words.

“It was Bea!” “It was Russ!” “It was Daryl and Ken,
And Janet, and David, and Beverly, and Ben!”
“To your rooms, Everyone! To your rooms, and be quiet!
Now, dash away! Get upstairs, and don’t riot!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So into the house, up the stairs they all flew,
Yelling, “It wasn’t ME! Why punish me, too?”

Later, back in my bedroom, I heard on the wall
The bumping and bouncing of a large basketball.
“Now, stop that!”, I yelled, “We MUST have a ‘nap’!”
I took off my robe, and stood proud in my chaps.

“We’re finally alone.”, I whispered. “It’s you I adore.”
My wife stirred slightly, and exhaled a soft snore.
I awakened her gently, rolled her onto her back,
And, play-acting a vampire, made ready to “attack”!

Her eyes-how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her lips like a cherry!
Her little white teddy was drawn up in a bow,
And, oh my gosh…how I wanted her so!

Just then, from downstairs came a crash!
(David and Ben had been taking out trash.)
I put on my robe; My wife turned, with a sigh.
Surely, she KNEW I’d be back, by-and-by.

“Okay, WHO’S the culprit? What happened?”, said I.
“It was HIS fault!”, said David. “He had to try
To fling all the garbage from the porch to the can!”
(It busted, and now, it’s all over the van

Which I had just washed, then parked in the drive.)
“If you disturb us once more…you kids won’t survive!”
And, shaking my fist at them, for good measure.
I started upstairs, to get back to my “treasure”.

I tried the door, but it was now locked.
Seems my sweet wife’s tender desires were blocked.
But I heard her exclaim, jumping back into bed,
“Go downstairs! Watch TV! Or…DROP DEAD!”

by shakysphere

Author’s Comments:
“I think having several children is God’s way of assuring that families don’t get TOO large…sort of a “built-in birth-control”! Lol! (MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES TO CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE, author of “The Night Before Christmas!) God bless all who read!”

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fuzzy
    Aug 26, 2006 @ 21:13:00

    lol funny ! a7la shay kids messing up their parents afternoon extra-credit activities lol


  2. Mini Я.
    Aug 26, 2006 @ 21:18:00

    I’m dreading the traffic jams & the idiot drivers.


  3. ashley
    Aug 16, 2007 @ 19:24:00

    I thought it was a poor attempt at poetry. Sounds like more of a dead beat.


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