Salut (revision)

I know I posted this poem before, and I’m posting it again now with the latest revision. Yes, I do revise my poems almost all the time and never satisfied with any :p. and that’s what kept me so far from publishing, but I have decided that once I finish with my online poetry class which is about a month from now, I will work on my book and my goal is to see the first publication January of 2007.
OK, let me give you a background (for you poetry lovers) so you’ll try to figure what’s going on in this poem. This combination of shape and lyrics is called concrete poem. The shape is used with the lyrical body of the poem to express a theme. What I’m doing here is trying to draw a wine glass shape, which in this case consists of the cup, the stem and the base. Therefore; I divided my subject into three parts to fill each. The cup is filled with a time-line of a specific rendezvous; notice how the words get an erotic twist as you reach the bottom of the cup to give a drunken sensation as you drink the wine to the bottom. The stem explains that the mentioned activities are in the past although the feeling is still experienced, be it in memory, and the base declares a sense of remorse that this lovely relationship did not last. Now you look at the total picture it looks like a raised wine glass with the word Salut ( title), this is an indication that the narrator is wishing her lover the best ( cheers to you), now when you combine both shape and lyrics, the theme becomes clear:
As you all know, not every relationship ends happily, sometimes for one reason or another you break up with someone that you had a good relationship with and you go on with your life, as does he/ she. Those who leave a seal in your memory. You do not regret your past with him/her although it was not what you wished it to end like. At times the memory of a specific incident keeps coming back and bringing all the sensations of the good times spent together. The feeling is a mixture of longing and at the same time wishing the best for whom was once the center of your attraction. But nevertheless, each has his own life and life goes on.

Enjoy

Salut
Messaging, Pasqua wine on ice, sushi ordering
Waiting, rooms scenting, candles lighting, door
Unlocking, meditating, greeting, hugging
Pasqua, Sushi, laughing, chit chatting
Meditating — in our energy drifting
Massaging – The Karma Sutra
Singing – the black cherry
In dreams drifting
Sedating
Reveries
Are now but
The treasured
Sensuous tingling
Sensations in the
Realm of my
Reminiscent
Body and
Mind
Alas
We missed
The last Pasqua
We missed the last Sushi
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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. غريب
    Mar 01, 2006 @ 15:48:00

    بالتوفيق روبي
    سلوت

    Reply

  2. AyyA
    Mar 03, 2006 @ 17:24:00

    Thanks dear and happy birthday 🙂

    Reply

  3. ولاّدة
    Mar 03, 2006 @ 19:56:00

    مدهشة أنت أيتها الصديقة الرقيقة

    قرأت القصيدة مرات ومرات
    وتأملت الرسم مرات ومرات
    وفي كل مرة
    أرفع كأس الحياة وأشرب معك -عبر الأثير السيبيري- نخب الصحة والشباب المتجدد والحب اللامحدود
    CHEERS
    😉

    Reply

  4. AyyA
    Mar 04, 2006 @ 11:43:00

    It feels so good to see you back princess. Salamat 7abeebti.
    Cheers to abundance of love and health

    Reply

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