Free Thoughts

Once a fish tried to extend its whole body beyond sea level
its gills couldn’t take the air and so it stood Clueless in
The middle, if it stayed longer out, it’d sure be
Vanished in a ripple, and if it dived it’s
To be saved but to norms it has to
Settle. Thoughts in my country
Are like that fresh air that the
Fish tried to wobble

Repeat: Succumb, Submit
And Stay under
Sea level:
Safe

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. William
    Dec 11, 2005 @ 13:34:00

    Discresion.

    Reply

  2. shosho
    Dec 11, 2005 @ 17:20:00

    When it comes to poetry, you’re not simply a ruby, but a diamond 🙂

    Reply

  3. Peach
    Dec 11, 2005 @ 18:33:00

    Heck no I ain’t succumbin! See I’m a bird fish that’s already roamed the 7 seas & now as I develop my wings the skies are opening up to me one by one .. There is no limit to thought .. And no one can stop anyone from thinking or hold thier thoughts prisoner .. even if they “thought” they did .. *winkwink* 😉

    oh yeah & I second Shosho .. you are a diamond .. mashallah laylah ellah allah .. allah yzeedich o ya36eena 😉

    Reply

  4. Misguided
    Dec 12, 2005 @ 10:12:00

    Dear AyyA,

    That’s great!

    really well done!

    Reminds me of Kafka’s “A report to An Academy” in which an ape learns to become human to be freed of his cage.

    “And so I learned things, gentlemen. Ah, one learns when one has to; one learns when one needs a way out; one learns at all costs. One stands over oneself with a whip; one flays oneself at the slightest opposition……

    With an effort which up till now has never been repeated I managed to reach the cultural level of an average European. In itself that might be nothing to speak of, but it is something insofar as it has helped me out of my cage and opened a special way out for me…. There was nothing else for me to do, provided always that freedom was not to be my choice.”

    truly,
    Misguided

    Reply

  5. Jewaira
    Dec 12, 2005 @ 12:18:00

    Sometimes it is like.

    I love the subtlelty of your words, Ruby

    Reply

  6. Dalalism
    Dec 12, 2005 @ 13:08:00

    egsdeThe words had a very peaceful rythm i suddenly saw a blue picture and bubbles in my mind !

    KeEp It Up :X allah bless

    Reply

  7. Eridanus
    Dec 12, 2005 @ 17:36:00

    ok, maybe so, but… who (or what) do you think is there, fixing that sea level of your imagination? (or, should I say, in your imagination?)

    is that something tangible?

    Reply

  8. Elegance
    Dec 12, 2005 @ 23:51:00

    Such a creative and a simbolic writing, with a clear message. Love it 😉

    Reply

  9. AyyA
    Dec 13, 2005 @ 13:00:00

    William
    ?

    Shoshoa & peaches
    Thank you very much, that was really flattering. :*

    Misguided
    Thank you dear for the piece, and the inspiration for the form came from George Herbert Poem “Easter Wings”, notice how the stanza’s form two wings where negative thoughts decrease the words in each line unlike positive thoughts:

    Lord, Who createdst man in wealth and store,
    Though foolishly he lost the same,
    Decaying more and more,
    Till he became
    Most poore:
    With Thee
    O let me rise,
    As larks, harmoniously,
    And sing this day Thy victories:
    Then shall the fall further the flight in me.
    My tender age in sorrow did beginne;
    And still with sicknesses and shame
    Thou didst so punish sinne,
    That I became
    Most thinne.
    With Thee
    Let me combine,
    And feel this day Thy victorie;
    For, if I imp my wing on Thine,
    Affliction shall advance the flight in me.
    I hope that the limit space wont affect the poem’s form.

    Jewaira & Dalalism
    In philosopher Arthur Danto’s book, “After the End of Art”, he defines art as:
    1)Art must be about something.
    2)Art must embody that something.
    To me that means art should have a soul. So if that piece communicated with you, then that means that may be I’m on the right track, thank you both for your encouraging words.

    Eridanus
    Sorry dear, I did not get you question.

    Elegance
    My ever encouraging friend, what can I say?

    Reply

  10. Eridanus
    Dec 13, 2005 @ 14:59:00

    Once upon a time, there were these portuguese navigators that commited their lives to the ocean, unto “where none yet comprehends, if other land begins or the sea ends”.

    They went to places that legends populated with monsters never seen and disgrace never told, places where the world, as they knew it, was supposed to end…

    There, they found life unfolding in so many wonderful, untold ways…

    And their deeds are now sang by the poets, with a warning for those who may be willing to commit themselves to the same adventure, to pass across the horizon, after all, that very same sea level that your words reminded me of…

    I guess this is why some part of the ocean salt is told (by the poets) to come from portuguese women’s tears…

    Reply

  11. shosho
    Dec 13, 2005 @ 20:39:00

    Ok, since now I’m done with the flattering, I have one simple question for you……

    WAIN SAMEERA!!!!!

    😦

    Reply

  12. AyyA
    Dec 14, 2005 @ 08:00:00

    Eridanus

    Ok now I got it. Thanks dude for sharing the Portuguese navigators’ tale. It does give hope. Free thoughts for people around this region is a big risk, and as the first Portuguese adventurers, who took the risk for a better life we need to take that risk. But who is willing to take such risks? Very few, the whole country is taken by this wave of sedating existence; Most would rather stay under see level: safe. This poem is a cynical expression of an existing situation. It did not mean to discourage others to take that risk, on the contrary; it was meant to provoke others to rebel on such a situation. Notice how far deep down the see level “of my imagination” is where safe is placed.

    shoshoa
    LOL, ok Sameera needs a special mood, and sorry I haven’t been in that mood for quite a while now, but I promise I will post on that soon, li3yoonik bas wala tiz3ileen :*

    Reply

  13. TariqKhonji
    Dec 14, 2005 @ 12:35:00

    Really nice. This is your best one in a while.

    Reply

  14. MissCosmoKuwait
    Dec 14, 2005 @ 13:50:00

    That was beautiful in a sad kinda way…well done…an artist at his best..:)

    Reply

  15. Eridanus
    Dec 14, 2005 @ 15:34:00

    “dude” ? well, ok, never mind me (I am not at ease with polysemy, in english)…

    …but, should safety be an end in itself? as you put it, so deep, it seems deep below some graveyard stone, doesn’t it?

    nevertheless, I liked your image :)and I do acknowledge that its meaning reverberates deep in myself (oh! by the way, the same goes for this blog of yours (which I hope not to be disturbing), yes, this very place where your thought’s life unfold, in such non anticipated interesting ways)

    Reply

  16. TANTALIZE
    Dec 14, 2005 @ 23:55:00

    Exact catch-22!

    Reply

  17. AyyA
    Dec 15, 2005 @ 08:01:00

    TariqKhonji , MissCosmoKuwait and TANTALIZE
    Thank you all for your warm words

    Eridanus
    A graveyard is how it feels when you have no freedom, thanks again friend.

    Reply

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