Sorry, I Can Only be a Friend


Fate united them together, yet it was blasphemy that congealed that unity; an oath of love they both shared for one person; a person whom God blessed with both aspects and linage. A person who had once given the oath of love to her, yet he could not resist the advantages that his qualities brought forth; there was too much fish in the see for him to settle with one, so he left her with a broken heart and a kaput ego reciting:
He left me in silence
He left me again in silence
He left me without a clue in silence

On the other hand; he was also in love with that person (her lover); his long time, summer camp friend. You could say that he is a gay; he revealed it in so many occasions, but he never directly announced it. His secret love for his lover only remained a secret when sought in his eyes. And knowing that his pseudo lover is straight, and that he did not have any hope, he never crossed the boundaries with him although he was pounded with surges of jealousy many times while witnessing the presence of another woman in his beloved’s company. But she sensed that; women have the sixth sense. And once; she even had mentioned that to her lover, but he only pushed that thought away not wanting to believe that his friend is infatuated by him, and not wanting to judge his friend’s sexual tendencies.

The lover left his girl although his soul never did, and he kept his loyalty to his friend as best friends can endow.

As much as he was happy to see her go, as much as he was sad; he yearned to know her more, partly because he wanted to discover the secret that made his beloved seek after her, and mostly because; among all the others that the lover had courted, she was the only one who felt his pain. She did not blunt it out in any occasion, but he knew that her love for that person equated his love for him, and their agonies paralleled in this trio relationship. They shared love, agony, remorse and lost hopes for a single person. And so they grew to be best of friends.

But as time elapses so do people change, these two became even closer than close until that day when he started giving her mixed messages. How is she supposed to react towards him now? Was he changing? And if he was, how could you resume your relationship with some one that you considered in the past as your own gender, and now you are expected to change your attitude towards him?


If this is a very sticky situation that you can’t find a solution for, then let me ask you a simpler one:
How would you react when you find out that your best friend is changing course and expecting more into a relationship that you want to halt at a certain limit? You don’t want to raise his/her hopes, yet you don’t want to lose his/her friendship. How can you make him/her realize that you still love him/her but in a different way without causing heartbreak especially when you know that your friend is sensitive and that he/she had his/her share of misfortune in matters of the heart?

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mishari26
    Oct 26, 2005 @ 02:07:00

    Honesty + Compassion = 1 healthy relationship.

    Respecting the other’s ability to cope with the blunt honesty is a great compliment that *will* be appreciated. Even if after a while.

    Reply

  2. Shurouq
    Oct 26, 2005 @ 03:12:00

    Grownups should know and accept that heartbreaks are inevitable whether you change camps or don’t.

    Ayya, shlonich?

    Reply

  3. ولاّدة
    Oct 26, 2005 @ 14:58:00

    من تجاربي في هذه الحياة …حين يتسلل الحب إلى قلب زميل أو صديق يصعب أن نظل أصدقاء…فالقرب يعذب

    إن كنت أعز هذا الصديق/الزميل بمجرد ان ألمح لمعة حب لي في عيناه تجاهي أنسحب لأوقف عذابه إن كنت لا أبادله الشعور

    Reply

  4. AyyA
    Oct 26, 2005 @ 20:06:00

    Mishari
    True, but what are the loses?

    Shurouga
    Grownups are worse than children when it comes to the matter of heart.
    I’m OK dear, I just miss you and blogging is not the same without you and Illa Nabeethi, I miss him too 😦

    Prencess
    Algorb yo3athib and sometimes when you are close to that person and you consider him/her a friend that you shared with ( el7ilwah wi elmorrah); elbo3d yo3athib akthar

    Reply

  5. Peach
    Oct 28, 2005 @ 19:29:00

    Boy is that a sticky mess! and in the end they all remain single .. now ain’t that a shame!

    I’ll have to agree with Mishari on this.

    Reply

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