Age Doesn’t Matter

She was 20 years older, but he didn’t know that. Age did not draw its ugly traces on her body or complexion yet; so why would she reveal it. He was madly attracted to her, he knew she was older, but since the relationship did not burden him in any legal commitment, so what difference did it make if she was older. He loved her just the way she was; with or without anti-age make-up, late at candled nights or early in scandalous mornings. She fully satisfied his needs and kept a great company. He also admired this air of respect and wisdom that age had tamed her into; she perfectly suited his needs as she was.

She, on the other hand, was fascinated by his youth, but never took him seriously. She was a lonely widow who found through him the salvation that brought color to her life after her loss. Time (her old enemy) was horridly passing her by and kept her contemplating; how long would it be before the wrinkles were visible? And how soon would come the day when she would resemble those saggy faces which adverted for”fight-age” gimmicks and remedies? And more importantly; how soon would she loose this energy within; her sexual desire which was at its prime time?

Time terrified her and she had to fight it. She demanded her right to enjoy her youthfulness before it was too late, even if that entailed a “no commitment” relationship.

And because their secret was kept between the two of them; their relationship had hardly suffered any serious misfortune. They both understood each other’s obligations and need for privacy, and both respected the age difference to the point that they hardly fought. Their boat sailed in complete harmony and was steered by understanding, trust and respect.

Their relationship was never normal if we can ever define what the norm is.
He was young and full of life and naturally loved women. He cherished his bachelorism. He even had to break a relationship that he was deeply involved with for the sake of his freedom. But this woman was different; she never interfered with his freedom. She had seen him with other women before but was oblivious to his lies although he knew that a smart women like her would never pass obvious matters unless she was cautiously willing to.

That was her secret; she was comforting and convenient.

She on the other hand, was satisfied and thanked her lucky stars that she had him even if it meant little time together. She lived for those times and called it “borrowed quality time” in which hours were spent with happiness in restoring her declining youth.

Amazingly; the no commitment treaty between the two became more than what they had hoped for; gradually he gave up his freedom willingly, he did not care to prove his manhood with other women. And although he still enjoyed his time with other girls but when it came to genuine communication and sensuality, it was always her. And she knew it even though the subject was never brought up in their borrowed time together.

But unexpectedly; the two-year union had to come to an end when one day he had come to realize how much he needed her and wanted to officiate their bond by marriage. She was shocked, amused and confused at the same time. Anyone in her place wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

But she could not do that; she was older than him, and logically she had to act wiser. What would be the society’s reaction to their bond? How about both families; his and hers? How would they take the news? And how about children? She could not possibly have children at her age. And although he had assured her that he did not care to have his own offspring, but how could she take it for granted that he won’t change his mind in the future. Besides; how could she bare all the humiliation that this contract would bring upon her, she knew that people would never leave them alone and that she would soon become the joker and the joke of society gossip. And the secret which kept their relationship lively would no longer stay an intimacy they both cherished; others would soon be involved.

She had to refuse him and go on with her life leaving behind two broken hearts; each looking desperately for a replacement.

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tequila69
    May 07, 2005 @ 12:03:00

    Age doesn’t matter I agree, everyone is gona think she’s a craddle robber. There’s society again rearing its ugly head!! Will we ever be free of the roles that society forces upon us?

    Reply

  2. AyyA
    May 07, 2005 @ 18:28:00

    Tequila69
    First ahlan wasahlan biki in my blog, and as I can see, you are a fresh starter in the blogging arena, welcome to the club dear.

    And tn answer your question I’d have to say; no dear, I don’t think that we will ever be free from society phobia.

    Reply

  3. Ms.Baker
    May 08, 2005 @ 06:16:00

    Beautiful and sad. To dream the impossible dream is one thing. To live it, another…

    Reply

  4. UzF
    May 08, 2005 @ 09:55:00

    It’s true that she sacrificed by this act,
    but I still sense a trace of selfishness from her!

    Reply

  5. AyyA
    May 08, 2005 @ 12:08:00

    Ms B
    Welcome back to the cyber world, nawarti elblog 🙂
    You have summarized the whole post with one single line, thanks dear.

    Sweet UzF
    She could not stand against society so she had to withdraw. As you have seen the relationship did not start as a serious one. Actually it was convenient for both of them because they both had something that the other needed, but, it had unexpectedly developed. A widow or a spinster in our society has a slim chance, if any at all, to live a normal life. She is doomed to be buried alive. Nevertheless, our heroin had already defied the society by having a secret life, but when it comes to public it’s a different matter. Now; would you think if she had accepted his offer things between them would have stayed the same? I doubt it. That’s why she had to use her brains and not her heart. And why do you think it was selfish of her, I see it the other way around. His chances of finding someone more appropriate are much higher than hers. And age has its own pride to respect, she could not degrade herself for a bond that she knew might not have a chance to survive and may be if she had gone along with it the scar and the hurt would have been much deeper. The whole point here was to emphasize that no matter how much we kid ourselves that age does not make a difference, when it comes to reality, and specifically in our society, we know damn well that it does.

    Reply

  6. Jewaira
    May 08, 2005 @ 17:45:00

    Society may raise its eyebrows at the age difference in your story but I ask you to what if it were the other way around and the man were older?
    Sometimes there is a spiritual bond between a younger man and an older woman that only they can see and interpret. There are many reasons why some men are attracted to older women, especially those women who take care of themselves.
    It is true that people make remarks- but I have heard so many cases in the past few years in Kuwait of younger men who have never been married, who go on to marry older divorced/widowed women with children! Perhaps the age difference is not 20 years- more like 5 -10.

    Reply

  7. AyyA
    May 08, 2005 @ 18:11:00

    A very valid remark Jewaira; Older men-younger women marriages are somewhat acceptable in our society, but I never understood why. The concept is the same, so why should it be acceptable in this case?
    Actually, what inspired this post was a marriage that took place a week ago between a fifty tree year old Spanish woman I happen to know (she never looked it though) and her 20 years junior boyfriend. And about three days back I watched an episode (I think it was on CNN) about celebrity women marrying or dating men 15-20 years younger. And that made me wonder; if the same happened here in our society, what would be the reaction to that? Would everybody attend the wedding and bless their union as it happens in the west?

    Reply

  8. TANTALIZE
    May 08, 2005 @ 18:26:00

    ayya:
    Actually older women marrying younger men IS DEFINITELY on the rise in Kuwait. But much older women doing the same may not be. There are however much older women who are engaging in relationships with much younger men by paying for an apartment and giving stipends to younger men, while living a semi-marital relation.

    Rich(er) women who seek companionship and perhaps control and sexual neutrality do this with younger men because it may be absent with their own husbands. Yes they are often married than not and have childen as old as their boyfriends. They are with younger boys/men who are more after the money instead of the sex or company.

    *The question to ask is: Is love enough anymore for it to be comsummated through marriage regardless of age? Age is DEFINITELY NOT JUST A NUMBER! WHOEVER SAYS THAT IS USUALLY THE YOUNGER PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP!

    If love is not enough, then what IS? Even relations of all sorts are starting to shorten and so are emotions. We are becoming more mechanical and dominated by what advertising and entertainment and religions think is right!

    Reply

  9. AyyA
    May 09, 2005 @ 01:54:00

    You know, I heard alot of stories about married women having relationships with men in general. And they don’t see anything wrong with that. I don’t understand it though. If she is not satisfied sexually with her husband then why wouldn’t she divorce him? Again society plays an important role here; they prefer infidelity to being labeled as divorcee. How pathetic

    Reply

  10. Kristalle
    May 15, 2005 @ 22:30:00

    Just as rarely as marriages between an older man and a woman 20 years his junior work out, double that probability for a vice versa situation.
    I think its because, GENERALLY, women want to be taken care of and provided for, and this’d be difficult if he was 10-20 yrs younger.
    More specifically, a man wants to have the upper hand in a marriage. After a while he might feel that his masculinity/manhood is at jeopardy of being extinguished. W ba3dain 3ad ra7 yi6ali3 7arita feeha w yibda ib 3oqdat el naqs. Even if its not true, his imagination would picture it to be so..
    I think this woman is not only very wise, but very strong as well, for letting go of something that gives her a lot of pleasure/fulfilment/comfort. I would not have been able to WILLINGLY make such a decision, such a sacrifice.

    Reply

  11. AyyA
    Jun 25, 2005 @ 03:58:00

    LOL, I really liked your analysis Kristalle, you cracked me up, and sorry I did not notice your comment earlier, but better late than never, welcome dear.

    Reply

  12. bildatmolla
    May 18, 2011 @ 02:38:42

    Gday everybody, just become a member of 3asal.wordpress.com . I’ve spent five hrs searching in the internet, right up until I have found this discussion board! I think, I will certainly stay here for a long time. kool forum.

    Many thanks to the online you can now be a keep at household dad and do far more with your day than modify diapers and mash bananas for little ones. Or revisit your geometry lessons for the older ones.

    Reply

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