HABIT ONE; Be Proactive(part two)/ the7HHEP

“To age does not matter, but taking

on matters you will age”

Brahma Kumaris

The proactive model:
In my last post I tried to present a problem as an example of showing different ways of responses to a stimulant, and have shown that between stimulus and response there is a free zone to make a unique choice that belonged only to me with no other influence from others.

This free zone is a combination of our self awareness, our imagination, our conscience and our independent will. We can use all our natural abilities to reprogram ourselves totally apart from our instincts and training, to stop being reactive and start being proactive.There are three maps of determinisms that conditions the way we see our image:
1- Genetic determinism; ” I got my hard temper from my great grandfather”
2- Psychic determinism; ” my parents always said that I was good for nothing”
3- Environmental determinism; ” my boss is driving me crazy, and when I go home I have to take it all on my family”
If the only vision we have of ourselves comes from the current social mirror or paradigm and from the opinions, perceptions of others, then the vision is disjointed and out of proportion.
All the above maps are based on the stimulus-response principles (I mentioned in the last post), in other words; the way I respond when I am stimulated by a particular problem or a certain situation is predetermined by the way I was conditioned.
But how accurately and functionally does this mirror describe the territory; me!!!

Proactivity defined:
As human beings, we are responsible for our lives.
Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.
We can subordinate feelings to values.
We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.


But how can we become proactive?
First we have to reprogram ourselves and remember that it is not what happens to us that hurt us; in fact our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers. It is the way we let the situation act on us instead of us acting to make the best of that situation.

Then let’s take the initiative, and to do that we have to recognize our responsibility to make things happen, and start being the solution to the problem instead of being a part of that problem, and in this case the maturity level of the individual has to be taken into account. We can’t expect high creative cooperation from those who are deep into emotional dependence. The more emotionally dependant we are the longer it takes us to take the initiative.

We have to watch our own language; our language comes from the basic paradigm of determinism. And the whole spirit of it is the transfer of responsibility. A reactive language becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. People become reinforced in the paradigm that they are determined, and they produce evidence to support the belief. They feel increasingly victimized and out of control, not in charge of their life or their destiny. They blame outside forces, other people, circumstances, even the weather for their own situation.
Sentences like:
there is nothing I can do about this“, “that’s just the way I am“, “he makes me so mad“, and “I don’t know how to do this” etc.
The proactive language on the other hand is more like:
Let’s look at our alternatives“, “I can chose a different approach“, “I control my own feelings“, “I can create an effective presentation“,” I will try my best to find out how to do this“, and “I chose not to participate” etc.

Expand our circle of influence: we have to also be cautious not to let the circle of our concern; things like family, children, spouse, work, or other stimulants such as weaknesses of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which we have no control overlap our circle of influence. We have to believe that by choosing the positive response to the circumstance we affect the outcome of our circumstance.
Proactive people focus their effort in the circle of influence. They work on things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their circle of influence to increase. The proactive approach is to change from inside out, to be different, and by being different, to affect positive change in what’s out there: “I can be more resourceful, “I can be more creative“, and “I can be more cooperative“. If I want to improve my situation I can work on the one thing I have control; myself.
I can stop trying to shape up everybody else and work on my own weaknesses.

But how does a proactive person deal with circumstances:
The proactive behavior is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them brings positive consequences. They give themselves the freedom to choose the response in any situation, but in doing so; they choose the attendant consequence and try to make the best of the situation. And their approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it. This literary turns a failure into success.
So let’s start being proactive, let’s make and keep our commitments;

Make a promise and keep it,

set a goal and work to achieve it.



(PS; This post is a continuation of the last post. Your questions, enquiries as well as participation are highly appreciated 🙂 )

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