The Seven Habits Paradigm/ the 7HHEP

“Remember that you are very special.
NO ONE can play your role better than you”
Brahma Kumaris

Dependence, independence and interdependence:
When we are young we are totally dependant on our parents; physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s always “you” I depend on.
As we grow older we tend to develop our own personalities, we start being financially independent, and eventually, mentally and emotionally if we are seeking total independence. So that it’s only “me” I can depend on.

But not all individuals have reached total independence, most of us, although financially independent, we still need to depend on others mentally or emotionally, other’s opinions always affect our actions to a certain level depending on our paradigms. We keep saying “he made me do it, it’s all his fault” instead of saying “I totally take the responsibility of my action”.
Just listen to a newly separated couple, each party blames the other for the failure of their marriage while in reality each of them has contributed to some degree to its failure. Both are mature and financially independent, but emotionally they are not.
Total independence is good, and is essential in building a strong character and a good manager, but it does not create leaders. You have to be a leader to be able to better manage your life. We live in a society that involves others, we have to interact, communicate, associate and relate. We have to be interdependent.
As an example let’s take Sara’s case:
Sara is a very hard working laboratory expert, she is very knowledgeable at what she is doing, and her superiors would always go back to her for a sound advice, and will always depend on her to accomplish serious tasks especially in emergency cases when the time frame is limited. But when her boss was transferred, the higher management chose someone with much less qualifications in her department to replace him. That sounds unfair doesn’t it?
Let’s shift our paradigm a bit to study this case closely;
Sara was a very quit person, never had to ask anyone for a helping hand or interrelated with her colleagues in any type of team work. She knew it all and knew that by letting others in her projects would only prolong the duration and she did not need that, she needed to make the deadlines. So it was always easier for her to get the job done by herself. Her colleagues thought of her as a nerd and although respected her, they never had the chance to get close to her.
If you were one of the board members would you choose Sara to head that department?..

No, because Sara is just perfect where she is right now.
Interdependence is essential for leading, for future growth, and it’s the real victory of “we” are interdependent on each other’s expertise to get the work accomplished, and if for some reason the task did not work, the leader takes full responsibility for he was not able to lead the team properly.
Now we are ready for the habits to be introduced:
For the 7habits to be effective the author is shifting our paradigms from dependence to independence with the three first habits that he introduced (H1, H2, and H3), these are based on the character ethic management that we have learned in the previous post. This shift is based on the basic traits of human beings, and we can think of it as the base structure of a building, it has to be strong to be able to withstand the weight of the building, and the author labeled this shift as private victory since the shift is done between you and yourself.
By producing three more habits the author would shift us again, this time to total interdependent, (H4, H5 and H6) are based on personality ethic management or what we call modern management which provides us the tools needed for managing our lives in a social environment, and the author labeled them as Public Victory since it involves others. The seventh habit (H7) is introduced to contain all the other six habits in an upward spiral motion to guarantee their effectiveness and stability; and to give a balanced renewal of the four basic dimensions of life (physical, spiritual, mental, emotional).

Having said all the above; now we are ready to begin, expecting the seven habits to provide us an incremental, sequential, highly integrated approach to the development of personal and interpersonal effectiveness with compliance to the laws of nature, just like the laws of harvest; Saw, wait for the crop and then reap.

(To be continued)
(PS; This post is a continuation of the last post. Your questions, enquiries as well as participation are highly appreciated 🙂 )

Posted by Hello

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Purgatory
    Feb 26, 2005 @ 22:14:00

    I understand Sara very well.


  2. AyyA
    Feb 26, 2005 @ 22:25:00

    Many do and they would sympathize with her, she spent her life being honest and working hard, we all think that she deserves better, and there are many Sara’s around us. But this is not the way higher management are perceiving things, they need Sara, they don’t want to loose her, and by promoting her there is a risk in loosing an expert and not gaining a leader.


  3. Purgatory
    Feb 26, 2005 @ 23:46:00

    Yeah what you say is absolutly correct.


  4. The Expert
    Feb 27, 2005 @ 02:35:00

    Hi Rabab,

    Actually I’ve been reading all your recent postes which are very distinct and dare. Therefore , I couldn’t stop my self from posting comments on some of them. Regarding, your negative idea and jealousy from the Morrocan women, let me tell you some secerts such as: Morracon women are not “WA3RAH” that means every thing is very easy. if i wasn’t sure that “KAMA SUTRA” is from India i would sware that it was written by a Morracan lover some were in the mountens of Atlas while sipping a glas of famous Fes rose WINE. They aren’t beautiful but attractive. So, francly it is all about Six. Rabab, beleave it or not I’m posting right now from chez Isma3il “my favourit resturant in Agadir” waiting for my order “6ajean la7am bel bargoog”. Finally, this is the Eighth Habits Paradigm I invented.
    I’ll be in Kuwait in a couble of days , ITWASSEEEEN SHAY ??


  5. AyyA
    Feb 27, 2005 @ 03:00:00

    LOL, you really surprised me with your comment. And it’s not jealousy of Moroccan women, it’s just curiosity. Because I hear a lot of Kuwaiti women complaining about their men being taken by Moroccan women and they all blame it on black magic. Personally I do not believe in black magic. But hey, sex could be magic by itself. And may be we Kuwaiti women need some Karma Sutra Moroccan instructor’s teachings, so that you guys would stay closer to home. Anyway enjoy your 6ajean la7am bel bargoog, and your Karma Sutra desert. Cheerz 😉


  6. The Expert
    Feb 27, 2005 @ 03:30:00

    Rabab Read this one,

    A frind of mine who was working in Ministry of Electricity as a Kilowatt reader went to a house knox the door a kid answer saying: “MINOW” (who is it?), the man replies identifying him self , but no response . Then he knox again and the same soft sound says: ” MINOO” then again he identifies him self begging the kid to open the door, but no response; 3ala hal7al more than half an hour untell a man parked his car close to the house asking my frind if he needs any help , he told him the story and the owner opened the door laughing and showed him who was that saying : “MINOO,MINOO” !!!
    6ala3 Parrot…………


  7. Peach
    Feb 27, 2005 @ 12:19:00

    I’ve always been a Sara for different reasons, same results. Teach me guru, teach me 😉


  8. AyyA
    Feb 27, 2005 @ 19:05:00

    The Expert
    Thanks for the joke Expert and keep it coming 🙂

    We all have a little Sara in us dear, which is good, but we need to be great


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