Dear cousin:

Thought of Today:

Do not allow anything to be an obstacle. See everything as a stepping stone to victory

He: ‘what’s your name little girl’

She:’ Latifa’

He:’ your mom says you are six years old, you look like a very beautiful young woman, you are much more mature for your age’

She:’3adooli my cousin also said that’

He:’ he did?’

She:’ aha’

He:’ you know that your mom and I are first cousins and we grew up together, we were always very good friends like you and 3adooli’

She:’ no 3adooli is big, like you, but he likes me and wants to make babies with me, but don’t tell mom, she will get angry’

He:’ and how does he want to make babies with you’

She: ‘he puts his 7amama here’

He: ‘where show me let me see’

She: ‘I can’t do that mom says 3aib, and she will beat me’

He: ‘did she beat you before’

She: ‘yes when I was a very young girl, and I showed it to Waleed; my brother. But I didn’t do it, he made me do it, mom hit me and she didn’t hit him’

He: ‘ then why did you show it to 3adooli?’

She: ‘he said mom will not know coz he won’t tell, and I love babies’

He: ‘if you show it to me I won’t tell as well, and I can make better babies than 3adooli, I’m bigger than him’

She: ‘no, mom will beat me, she pinches really hard’

He: ‘com’on let me see, … there.. how is that’

She: ‘I don’t know.. it’s ok… oh not like that.. oh that hurts.. hey.. let me go, you’re hurting me’

He (panting): ‘shoosh don’t scream, mom will hear you’

She (whispering):’ but you are hurting me not like 3adooli… oh… no.. oh no don’t do that…..’

He: ‘shoosh it’s ok, you know I love you and I won’t hurt you’

Meanwhile in the large sofas of the expansive living room the ladies sat chatting over tea and nuts when all of a sudden Rana said:’ where is my brother Ahmad? Did he leave?

The host replied while ushering the maid to clean the tables: ‘ no my dear he is enjoying his afternoon siesta in the Diwaniya.

He: ‘go wash up now and don’t make noise, so mom will not know, then go back to the living room with the others’

She (with tears blurring her vision):’ promise you won’t tell mom’

He: ‘I promise, go now’

The young girl came in and made herself comfortable on one of the sofa’s while the sophisticated ladies continued chatting and giggling, but no one noticed the young angle with a very mature sad eyes who had just joined their circle.

Posted by Hello

A young Girl by: Carlo F. Smith

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28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Purgatory
    Feb 08, 2005 @ 16:23:00

    I need to chop some dicks

    Reply

  2. shosho
    Feb 08, 2005 @ 16:57:00

    That was painful to read :”(

    Reply

  3. Jewaira
    Feb 08, 2005 @ 19:22:00

    Rabab
    That was too much to read. Unbearable.

    Reply

  4. AyyA
    Feb 08, 2005 @ 20:03:00

    Purg
    You will need a lot of choppers

    Shosho & Jewaira
    As painful as it seemed, this was a true story, and the secret was never reviled. It happens everyday and goes unnoticed. An unjust culture; it punishes the girl and turns a deaf ear to the boy’s actions. When a boy can always get away with his evilness, there is no limit to the harm that he could cause even to his own kin.

    Reply

  5. minime
    Feb 08, 2005 @ 21:26:00

    Hi rabab dear:-)

    That really hurt. That did.
    Nothing is more painful than seeing a child (as helpless as they are) being abused.
    But if you’d allow me to disagree, it doesn’t happen only to girls Rabab, little boys suffer just as much. It happens to them just as often & the saddest part, is that those sick minded twisted bastards are usually more comfortable with boys since there’ll be no pregnancy or virginity issues.
    I personally blame it on the parents.
    I was invited once to a birthday party at mcdonald’s in mushrif, and as you are probably aware, the play area is next to a small hall that is meant for such events.
    I was the only single father there & the rest were all moms (lucky me..eh? :-P)
    When I walked in with my kid, the hostess guided me to where parents gathered & told my boy to go the playground.
    I couldn’t sit there for long & felt like I was sitting on a frying pan. I had to walk to where the kids played & keep my eyes on him.
    She came out a while later & asked why I won’t join them & was surprised when I told her that I can’t leave him out of my sight.
    I’ve seen it a million times when parents opt for (comfort) & care to enjoy a moment of (freedom from responsibility) away from their kids, not realizing how dangerous the state of a helpless child left alone next to (ANY) adult could be.
    Relative or otherwise.
    The damage sexual harassment or actual assault can sometimes have irreversible effects. Particularly in a society like ours, where people never forgive you for being simply… The victim.
    And it could mar you for the rest of your life.
    I couldn’t harm an ant, but I am absolutely confident that the only time I could kill with no hesitation or regret is if this (God forbid) would ever happen to my boy.

    Reply

  6. minime
    Feb 08, 2005 @ 21:39:00

    & by the way, did you read in the papers two days ago, when someone tried to kidnap an 8 year old girl but luckily she screamed out loud & her mom who was shopping in the jam3iya heard & dashed out to her aid.
    Very fortunately with the aid of someone, they grounded the guy & called the police.
    It takes seconds for such tragedies to occur. :”-(

    Reply

  7. Shurouq
    Feb 08, 2005 @ 22:30:00

    Goose bumps

    Reply

  8. AyyA
    Feb 09, 2005 @ 01:41:00

    Brachypelma

    Yeas dear, child molestation is horrible in any form and to any gender. But what I tried to emphasize here is not child abuse by a stranger, where the child could inform the parents. But the problem when this molestation comes from a trusted family member, and the child can’t talk about it, and it goes on for years. That’s the real danger. Now how do you expect this child to lead a normal life when she/he grows up? And don’t be surprised, this happens everywhere and everyday. The parents here have the responsibility of getting closer to the kid instead of punishing her/him, , they should provide the solutions instead of becoming the problem. and let me tell you another real story and it happened here in Kuwait:
    an old lady opened the nursery door to check on her 7 month old granddaughter who was sleeping in her crib, and saw the cousin of 18 year old molesting the infant. And as a natural impulse started screaming at the boy and both family members gathered in the room while the boy fled. The parents took the infant to the gynecologist and thanks god she was ok. Then a big argument started between both families that until today; after 35 years, is not resolved. The girl’s family demanded that the boy should be punished, while the boy’s family did not want to disturb the boy since he was in the last year of high school and he needed “ nisba” to continue his education.
    Very funny ha?

    Shurouq
    I know I had that too when I heard the story

    Reply

  9. minime
    Feb 09, 2005 @ 07:28:00

    Sorry Rabab dear, I didn’t mean to steer away but without realizing, perhaps I did generalize about the sexual abusing unintentionally.

    But “keeping it within family” I find the saddest is when the father messes with the kids.
    This seems to be not uncommon & I actually had a (girl) – friend who confided in me & told me horrific stories. Absolutely heart bleeding stuff. (in fact I know of 5 cases).
    You know Rabs , Once a program by the name Elsha6er ye7ki (Lebanese), discussed this issue.
    Amongst the audience was a mother who was divorced & the father had custody of the 2 kids. While visiting her, she overheard one day the boy saying to the girl, “if you don’t give me that thing, then I am telling mom that you & baba tetza3ranoo”… The mother took the girl aside & the tragedy began to unfold. She sued him later.
    Another young lady called & said that her father used to regularly have sex with her & when she reported it to mom, mom’s response was that its 3adi..!
    This took the show host & most (including myself) by shock.
    The day after, I spoke about the show to my boss (she is old enough to be my mom & calls me sweetie) 😛
    You know Rabab, she immediately replied with a very logical one: Well mohammad what do you want her to do or say? Even if they send him to jail, he’ll be out in due time & when out there, she is his daughter & he is her father.. wo ba3daine?… Unfortunately, its very true when one thinks of it at one’s own pace.
    When the child’s direct guardian that she is meant to be one step below God turns into a monster, then who could he/she turn to? Specially in a society where men (& their families) give up on the thought of a girl being suitable if they only find out that she once went out with Henry 8th, let alone anything more recent..God Forbid 😦

    Reply

  10. Jelly Belly
    Feb 09, 2005 @ 07:47:00

    it drives me just crazy thinking that someone could take an advantage of a little child and what makes it even worse from someone they know but the sad thing Rabab most of the abuse cases are done by people they know and that’s just sick.

    Reply

  11. DJ
    Feb 09, 2005 @ 12:04:00

    Breaks my heart 😦

    Reply

  12. AyyA
    Feb 09, 2005 @ 12:52:00

    Brachypelma

    I couldn’t agree with you more, father-daughter relationship is the most sacred. I love my dad more than anything in the world and really can’t imagine how cruel some fathers could be to their own daughters, it’s sad.

    Jelly Bunny &DJ
    Here is a poem I got sometime back to review from a poet buddy, it just gave me the shivers and brought tears to my eyes and all I could say was; no comment:

    A wrong kinda love by Angie_emau

    Daddy why can’t we tell mom about all of our games
    Would she not like to play, it’s just not quite the same?

    Why do we have to whisper at night?
    When you come in to cuddle and hold me so tight?

    Why is it wrong to wear panties to bed?
    I took then off daddy, just like you said.

    Daddy don’t hold me so tight I can hardly breathe
    It is hurting me now; and why do I bleed?

    I don’t want to cry but you’re hurting me now
    In the pit of my stomach, it feels wrong some how.

    You tell me I’m a good girl but some how It feels wrong
    You say I am special, and it won’t be too long.

    Till I am big enough to make you feel good
    I thought I did that now, I would if I could.

    Both Jenny and Linda have both moved away.
    They don’t come to visit as much as they say.

    I don’t want to upset you, what did I do.
    I’m only 7, should I be doing that to you?

    Mom has gone now, I miss her as well
    Don’t worry dad, you said not to tell.

    Reply

  13. Jewaira
    Feb 09, 2005 @ 13:03:00

    Rabab
    When reading something like this makes you feel uncomfortable, it means that the writing has had its effect (whether positive or negative).
    I found it very disturbing and painful to read that poem in addition to your story.
    Nevertheless, this is one of the most important issues that should be brought to light and talked about openly, regardless of the pain it causes.

    Reply

  14. minime
    Feb 09, 2005 @ 15:49:00

    {{it feels wrong some how.}}

    :”””

    Reply

  15. AyyA
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 02:40:00

    Yes Jewaira
    As sad and degusting as it is, I think it’s an eye opener especially for the mother not to ever trust her kid with anyone, no matter how close. That’s why I think i’m going to leave the post open for a while.

    Brachypelma
    It’s not only wrong dear, it’s torture. and I posted it because I care.
    And BTW, what happened to your blog?

    Reply

  16. minime
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 06:59:00

    Rabab dearest,
    I think maybe I didn’t display my comment properly, my fault.
    What is between the brackets is part of the poem you posted & I copied & pasted it with an acronym indicating that out of the poem, this sentence I found saddest & choking.
    & thank you so very much indeed for raising the issue, it should be.
    God Bless 🙂

    Reply

  17. DJ
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 13:00:00

    It’s such a tragedy. And it is important to talk about it.

    The fact that some parents don’t listen to their children, or blame them, when they do try to seak help is also a tragedy!!

    My best friend in highschool had a beautiful little neice. (I’ll call her Kate) Kate’s mother was a single mom, and although she loved her baby girl, she frequently dumped her off on other poeple so she could go out partying with her friends. Kate spent more time at my best friend’s house with her grandma and grandpa than with her own mother. So much more that she began going to school in the small town where we lived, rather than in the town 20 minutes away where she had been. By the time she was six or seven, she was practically living with my best friend, her grandmother and step-grandfather.

    Well, one day there was an assembly at both the grammar and high schools in the town where I grew up. A rape councelor and child psycologist came to the schools to talk to the children about how they could seek help in situations of molestation, date rape, or sexual harrassment. She was very tactful when she came to the highschool and talked to the girls seperately from the boys, telling us the “rules” of “no” and so on and so forth and how to seek help if you were the victim of rape, etc… I’m sure she used the same tact and frankness with the small children at the grammar school.

    That very afternoon, the entire town of 400 people was all abuzz. Little Kate had gone to the councelor after the assembly at the school and told her all about what her step-grandfather had been doing to her for the past 3 years. She was nine! He had threatened her and scared her into silence, making her think it was all her fault.

    When the police raided the man’s workshop that afternoon they found endless amounts of hidden evidence, child pornography, and glaring proof of the things he’d done to that inocent, sweet little girl. He went to prison, where he belonged. And, little Kate went on with her life best she could.

    She grew up into a sweet, responsible, lively teenager and was doing great up until her mother moved her back to the Carolinas, from where they’d originally come. At that time, she was 15. I saw her a few times after that, when she’d come back for a visit and always dropped by. I could see she’d begun to change. She’d started getting involved with people she always swore she would never get involved with. Her life revolved around partying, and avoiding reality. She got involved in drugs.

    The only thing that never changed was her smile.

    I used to spend a lot of time with Kate. My mother watched her from the time she was only 2 years old. I saw her grow up. She hung out at my house when she was a teenager. She even watched my son for me from time to time when he was little. One time, when she was about twelve, we were driving somewhere and Kate asked if she could ask me a question. Naturally I said “Yes, of course. Anything.” She asked me, “Am I still a virgin?”

    Last year, at the age of 25 she died – suicide.

    Now, I’m not saying that being manhandled as a child HAS to ruin ones life. But, I think it’s really important that people realize just HOW big a deal it is, and how deep the scars run. Even if it doesn’t ruin their life, it will be a part of them forever!

    Reply

  18. AyyA
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 14:51:00

    Brachypelma
    Sorry hon, I guess it was my fault, I misunderstood your message, I should’ve gotten used to your style by now 🙂 , and I do know how much you care.

    DJ
    I honestly cried after reading Kate’s story, as shocking as it was, I have to thank you for sharing it with us and exposing it to the public, what a tragedy, god bless her soul.

    Reply

  19. minime
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 19:37:00

    Rabab dearest:-)
    yesalim 3omrich walah, don’t be a bit friend.

    Dj.
    very sad.
    I hate it so much when people take their own lives though I also agree that no one has the right to judge them but it feels like..(what a waste).. you know what I mean..:-(

    Reply

  20. DJ
    Feb 10, 2005 @ 20:30:00

    I know exactly what you mean. It is a waste! 😦 I thought the same thing when my best friend contacted me to let me know Kate had taken her life. If anyone had promise and potential, it was Kate. She was full of life up until about two years before her death. She was smart, sweet, beautiful and outgoing. She could have had the world eating out of the palm of her hand. Unfortunately, she must have felt something none of us will ever understand. It’s terribly sad and extremely frustrating. Sometimes I see her in my dreams; just a bystander. It’s haunting.

    Reply

  21. LUMINOUS
    Feb 11, 2005 @ 15:59:00

    Rabab,
    I was absolutely horrified when I read your post. Its very sad that these things happen and it stays with the victims for the rest of their lives. I personally know a 7 year old boy that was raped by his own uncle in the diwaniya during evening prayer when everybody would be at the mosque. Today this boy has grown into a 35 year old man that is angry hot tempered and violent. It only took a couple of hours of intimate conversation regarding his violent behavior to see this grown man break down into tears like a little baby and tell me this story. He never even told his own parents! and he stills sees the uncle in family gatherings! appalling indeed.

    Reply

  22. AyyA
    Feb 11, 2005 @ 16:41:00

    Thanks for dropping by and sharing your story Luminous, I really appreciate it. The affect of such a behavior is horrific indeed and no matter how old a person gets, this is one thing that could not easily be coped with, especially when it relates to a family member that you’d bound to meet all throughout the years. And keeping such a secret to oneself is a huge burden, knowing that reveling it would only cause disastrous implications.
    One of the projects I was assigned to when I was working (not anymore) was to distribute the workforce between the departments. So what we basically did was to gather the un-needed employees from one department and transfer them to another department where their expertise was needed. There was one case that puzzled me; we have transferred this guy (around the age of 25) to at least four departments and he’d stay for a short period of time then his name would soon appear on the unwanted list. I thought I would personally meet this person to know what his problem was. He turned out to be a gay and that explained it. Well that’s not the point here, but his story shocked me. He said that when he was a little boy he had the nice features of a girl; a good excuse for his cousin’s abuse and blackmailing. He said that now he’d gotten used to it and that he has no emotions whatsoever toward the opposite sex. I’m not sure if this was a natural tendency in him, but I’m sure that what he went through his childhood have left a carved impression on his behavior. And as he put it:” that’s the only kind of love I know, I can’t free myself”, he tried to convince me that he was happy with it, but I could tell that deep inside he was suffering.

    Reply

  23. Antania
    Feb 12, 2005 @ 00:31:00

    thats sick sick sick sick ,

    child abouse ha!

    Reply

  24. AyyA
    Feb 12, 2005 @ 01:27:00

    Obviously you are hurt Antania, and rolling in the musk is not the best way of getting clean, so if you have a story to share that would be really appreciated.
    welcome aboard

    Reply

  25. Beatnik
    Feb 12, 2005 @ 14:23:00

    rabab you must be online am trying to contact you but your email don;t show or somthing. for some reason want to talk to you today.

    Reply

  26. AyyA
    Feb 12, 2005 @ 14:49:00

    My e-mail is listed dear and I tried to e-mail u but no luck, anyway e-mail me on rabab.khaja@gmail.com and I’ll send you my SMS address

    Reply

  27. Patricia
    Feb 12, 2005 @ 15:38:00

    It hurts when we read a sad story like this because when we read we feel like what if I was in her place!!!!
    We all know that most of the families don’t know about their kids & what is going on with them.

    It is good to have a good and close realationship with our parents so that we can talk and ask about all this things so that non of this would happen to any of us.
    So god help us all and keep us safe.
    Thanks dear for sharing us this sad story and letting most of the people to read this.

    Reply

  28. AyyA
    Feb 12, 2005 @ 19:42:00

    Hey sweetie
    I though you’d like this post, I mean posting about this tragedy knowing how sensitive and caring you are. Glad you found time to check my blog.

    Reply

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