Does Being Altruistic Mean Being Alone

When you are a constant giver, or what my blogging buddy”AltruisticDad” explained as being an altruistic person, you feel you’re alone. You have the heart to accept all and appreciate all, but sadly no one understands you, let alone accepts you.

This is sad. You can’t stop yourself or change your beliefs, or even pretend to be someone you are not. The society tries constantly to change you; either by offering advice or by force. But you have to be true to yourself. Material things in life become just a means to have a decent life, not a luxury. What you yearn for is only love; Love of god, love of humanity, love of the thought. For the true happiness that you experience is through giving, not taking, and the only thing that you would ask for is acceptance for who you are.

Most of the bloggers I think fit in this altruistic category, especially the ones that keep the trend, or else why should they bother to reach others. They are not selfish people, on the contrary, they burn to light the pavement for others, they respect the mind, and they care to share.

I urge the bloggers to continue sharing and know that although you do feel the loneliness within, you are not alone.

You all know that these words came from my heart, and I’m sure and positive that it would reach your hearts.

For poetry lovers this is a poem I’ve written some years back and it may need some altering here and there, but I like to share it with you anyway, enjoy:

Big Heart

Complimented me indeed

when you said I had a big heart

To that notion I agreed

But to me the saddest part

The den inside is so enormous

It can lodge the universe

Nature to me is overwhelming

Can’t overlook or diverse

Humans precede it all

No prejudices to a race

for only I perceive a soul

That upholds abundant grace

With all I sympathize

Feel the pain through their eyes

never hate or criticize

Beliefs I can not compromise

You think that I should be happy

An’ satisfied by my deed!

On the contrary, I’m in misery

Of the ugly human greed

Hurt are the closest around,

Traits they can not understand

faking is what they demand

A dedication I can not stand

Some want me to be a puppet

or silence my word and cuff it

But as if a bird with no attachments

Through my thoughts I flee free

Can’t enclose myself in

And here is what agonizes me

Loneliness, yes my friend I suffer


For donating  such a noble offer

27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Altruistic Dad
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 14:11:00

    Lovely poem, Rabab.

    Unfortunately, there are selfish reasons for people to blog. I think you may be onto something, though, when you say that most of those who stick with it have altruistic tendencies. Selfish people wouldn’t get much out of long-term blogging, unless they already had a large following of readers from elsewhere in their lives.


  2. AyyA
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 14:29:00

    Yes AltDad, those are the ones I’m addressing. And you are right, some could keep on blogging for their commentary list, but how far could they go? People will eventually differentiate between the good and the bad. Personalities are felt through the writings, and an altruistic person has always something to offer. Some don’t even have to write long blogs to convey the thought; few words to provoke the thoughts and present them through his commentators are enough.


  3. Gigi
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 15:39:00

    What about commentators?
    Or, commentators without a blog. I would think that those are the true altruists.
    And in order to be truly altruistic, should a blogger disable comments on their posts?

    Rabab, you made me think, and question my motives for blogging. I thank you for that 🙂
    *Thinking hard*
    All in all, I don’t think a person should be too cynical, don’t you think?

    Gigi, thoughtfully

    P.S. loved this line:
    “With all I sympathize
    Feel the pain through their eyes
    never hate or criticize”
    Amen to that.


  4. AyyA
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 15:55:00

    Dear Gigi
    Thanx friend and I’m happy that my post made you think ’bout that. And I’m sorry if I failed to mention the commentator, yes some commentators are truly altruistic, you can feel it through their comments. If they did not care they wouldn’t bother to state their point of view in the first place. And you can sense their concern from their comments, and know who is honest and who just wants to fill in. especially when it comes to serious issues. Thanx for clearing this point out


  5. AyyA
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 16:03:00

    Cynicism would never get you anywhere, rational debates with the acceptance of all points of view is healthy.


  6. Purgatory
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 16:50:00

    I am confused! I think its this brown template that makes me not concentrate, I need a more cheerful color to be able to read those complicated comments.


  7. mishu1984
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 16:50:00

    very nice poem indeed!



  8. Drunk'n'Gorgeous
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 18:52:00

    Dearest Darling Rabab, your poem once again is exquisite and I thank you for sharing it with us.

    As for being altruistic, (which is just another word for selflessness) you give people way too much credit.

    Blogs are here for us to share with others, and for them to share with us. If you disable the comments on your posts then that means you do not want people to share their views with you, and THAT in a way can also be selfish. It’s like saying “read my views but don’t tell me yours”.

    If you just want a place to write your feelings and whatnot in, then what’s the point of having a blog? You could just do it the old-fashioned way with an ink pen and journal. What I’m trying to say is, in a way, we are all selfish wether we know it or not (wether we like it or not).


  9. AyyA
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 20:22:00

    I never said close the commentary link. I don’t know where you got this idea from. What I’m saying is sharing is caring, and if you share with me your ideas then you have the altruistic tendency. And 7abeebti you are one of the first ones that I have noticed to posses this trait. And unless there is a special reason, comments link should not be closed, coz through that link we communicate, share ideas, get to know each other, help each other. And the commentators who have no blogs, but still share their ideas with us also have this trait in their nature.
    Thanx babe for the compliment on my poem.


  10. AyyA
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 20:29:00

    Sorry dude can’t change the background of my blog, it goes well with my poetry :p
    Thanx for encouragement, I do appreciate it.


  11. shady q80
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 20:36:00

    Everyone wants a piece of the narcissist.

    I don’t think its fair to judge the altruist to be good and the selfish individual bad. More thought needs to be put into that I’m afraid.


  12. AyyA
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 21:22:00

    Shadi q8i
    You got me thinking, could you be more explicit ’bout narcissism and how do you perceive it in the blogging world.


  13. Drunk'n'Gorgeous
    Oct 29, 2004 @ 23:13:00

    Thank you for the compliment Rabab even though I am anything but 😛

    The first part of what I wrote was aimed at you. The second part about the comments was more or less in agreement with what GiGi said. I’m sorry I should’ve made it clearer.

    As for Purg and your template… well just ignore him 😛

    Shady – You’ve got some good ideas and you bring up some good points but the thing is, you don’t follow through. You seem like a fun person to “debate’ with ‘cept you’d never really go for that would you?


  14. AyyA
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 00:57:00

    Ah. Now I get your point


  15. nibaq
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 01:38:00

    Altrustic people need to set limits and categories as well as a checklist for who deserves their amazing kindness. They can’t be everything for everyone it kills them later in the inside cause they dont get anything at the end.

    It is all about saying “this person deserves it cause of these reasons” and “this person doesnt deserve anything from me”. Cause people will take this kindness and be very evil with it so it is best not to let them. And dont go into thinking “if I do somethig nice to them, they will return the favor. That will never happen.


  16. AyyA
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 02:00:00

    Dear Nibaq
    The true altruistic does not expect much from others, giving is his pleasure. And you are absolutely right, coz as little as he demands from others, he does not get it, some might even use him, that’s why you find him lonely, and that is the sad part. But he will eventually meet other people like him. People, who would understand him, feel his vibes, and mingle in his world. And when he does, the spiritual bond becomes so strong; it brings them both a feeling of contentment, a feeling of unity, a feeling that they are not alone.


  17. shady q80
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 05:20:00

    Rabab, DnG

    I will need to have a clear and concise blog entry on this subject..perhaps in two days.


    Yeah I love debates but I prefer written ones since it is easy for people to forget their positions. You are right though I am somewhat reserved when it comes to my own opinion (hehe another blog topic) as I try to avert influencing people as I feel that people should come to their own conclusions and that my own are a result of this (anti?)causal sequence I like to call life.


  18. AyyA
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 09:27:00

    Sorry to hear that shady, I would have loved to see the other side of the argument right here. You really got me interested. And I believe in the abundance theory; which in this case applies to sharing” not influencing” all points of view in here, and on your blog as well. There is abundance in this world to share, if I get my share that does not mean you are deprived of any, rather, there is plenty more. And keeping to oneself is not my cup of tea.


  19. marumba
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 14:51:00

    dear rabab…
    first,on the subject,,, ur comment to nibaq @ 2am says it well , i concur..:)however,
    altruism per say, is truly an overrated subject!! the intrinsic nature of humans leaves them short of the title.. for the “self” intuitively requires certain selfish attributes for its growth and survival which in turn negates the full fledge exposure of the act itself.
    on the other hand, altruism as opposed to egoism, is more indicative of an inclined behavior of the altruist to do generous good for the welfare of others… and that i believe is the derived objective of the trait..:)
    such alruists are never alone! for they need no acceptance to their disposition if they are not selfishly oriented.?!acceptance,if required,needed or wanted by them, therefore,rescinds their altruism..!


  20. shady q80
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 15:05:00

    well said.

    Tansilation: If by helping people and caring for them you yourself feel better, could that not possibly be your motivation for caring/helping?


  21. marumba
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 15:09:00

    rabab… u asked for my opinion on ur blog…:)
    seldom is one offered a chance to infuence others by one’s simple voice of unsolicited truth.. it is one’s truth afterall..! i feel ur keen sincerity in the gentleness of ur expression.. within ur poetic literary effect, i see magnanimous contributions.. u send love and u will beget simple as that.. to that i say: soar u beautiful soul..
    the sky infinite is your goal..
    in truth u will never fall..
    beneath your wings u carry all..


  22. shady q80
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 16:02:00

    The only truths that exist are the ones you create.

    Let people create their own.


  23. AyyA
    Oct 30, 2004 @ 20:20:00

    thanx for the explanation buddy, I knew I could count on you. So basically what you are saying that there is no true altruistic person as per say, because people with this designation do not expect anything at all, not even acceptance of others. Well then those people I’m referring to in my post would fit more in the humanitarian category, no?

    And as for the complement on my blog I really appreciate that. And your stanza is beautiful it gives me the courage and the will to go on.
    thanx again buddy.

    shady q80
    I’m still interested to see your views on narcissism applied in blogging. And even if you do not want to share it in my blog, I’d be delighted to share my views on yours.


  24. marumba
    Oct 31, 2004 @ 12:49:00

    … humanitarians.. perhaps more of philanthropists..!
    as shady mentioned… u do good unto others if that brings the doer unsolicited satisfaction,,

    my stanza is yours to keep,, keep on trucking babes..:)


  25. AyyA
    Oct 31, 2004 @ 17:10:00

    You did indeed in my soul roam
    Provoked the giant, unleashed the storm
    I thank you for the encouraging words
    That planted the fetus in my womb


  26. jlhart7
    Jun 24, 2005 @ 21:31:00

    i liked your post on altruism and blogging. i guess i always suspected my own personal blogging was an expression of my egotism, even though i want to be an altruist.


  27. AyyA
    Jun 25, 2005 @ 02:25:00

    Thank you for visiting dear, well I see from your profile that we share a lot of interests, I think we don’t choose to be altruistic or otherwise, off course there is no absolutes here but one trait surpasses the other.


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