Fresh From The Oven

Hey guys give me your opinion about my latest release, because I’m planning to enter a competition with some minor adjustments to this poem;

——————————————————–

Just a plain disposable lighter

____________________________

The night we parted you held me gently

And in my palm you placed a lighter

Then in my ear you whispered softly

Keep this….. as the last reminder

**********

I place my tooth brush in a glass

I keep within my reach

The plastic one you were holding

That night we partied at the beach

*********

Next to the toothbrush, in the same glass

Another brush “still wrapped” there lay

The one I got you when you were away

But to use, you never had the chance

*********

And when I open my closet door

Your T–Shirt greets me sadly

The one I got you on my last tour

And you never received; unfortunately

*********

When I pass the cabinet border

The candle holder winks with class

Not actually a candle holder

But a candle in a crystal glass

*********

Remember the night you and I

At a friend’s “after party” Slammed

Remember when you winked your eye

As your hand a laptop scanned

Remember the ” Karma Sutra” scene

You scrolled on that screen,

And whispered to my delight

This is what we’ll do tonight

*********

And remember when we left later

In your hand a crystal glass

This glass is my candle holder

The one that winks every time I pass

*********

And now you leave me with a lighter

The same plain disposable lighter

Give me something to forget

I don’t need another reminder

*********

This last token to me symbolized

The acidic defeat of a born fighter

When I finally realized

That I was nothing but a diposable lighter


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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Patricia
    Sep 28, 2004 @ 21:35:00

    Well no need to guess the resalt now bcs what you wrote was full of life – feelings and meanings.
    Habibti you’ll be one of the best of the best or the first I can say 😉
    I LOVE IT , Wish you all the best.
    Good Luck my Sweet Girl

    Reply

  2. AyyA
    Sep 29, 2004 @ 00:12:00

    Thanx Tesh
    Ur comment being the first means a lot to me

    Reply

  3. Drunk'n'Gorgeous
    Sep 29, 2004 @ 19:23:00

    I’m blessed with the ability to appreciate fine poetry yet cursed for I cannot create my own. The same with music, I can appreciate it and seperate the treasures from the trash but when it’s my turn to play an instrument, not one single note is even remotely acceptable.

    I loved your recent poem! It’s sad but in a romantic way it’s quite beautiful as well. I know that you already know this but you’re extremely talented! Please allow me to be your friend 🙂

    As for your blog, I’m asking myself this right now. Why did I never think to click on your nick and explore your blog before? I’m glad that I did now, though.

    Reply

  4. AyyA
    Sep 29, 2004 @ 23:22:00

    Dear Drunk’n’Gordeous
    your words brought tears to my eyes, I’ve always had this passion for poetry, and it’s an essential part of my life, but who reads poetry?… I was about to abandon my blog.
    Although I asked a lot of my friends to post their comments because this world competition is very important to me, yet no one seems to be interested in poetry.
    But, reading ur comment, unexpectedly, was… honestly a shock.
    Thanks for the encouragement FREIND, it boosted my morals. And.. no I never considered myself really talented, and until now I’m not very happy with my poems and this is one of the reasons why I postponed publishing my own book.
    I wish that you always make this mistake and show up in my blog… welcome friend.

    Reply

  5. Drunk'n'Gorgeous
    Oct 01, 2004 @ 18:14:00

    At first it was a mistake, but now I’m going to PURPOSELY check your blog for new posts so you better update frequently 😛

    As for poetry, if it’s bad, of course people won’t read it but trust me, my newly acquired friend, you won’t have to worry about the quality of your work because it’s as good as they come, if not better!

    I hope you don’t mind, but I added your blog to my blogs list on my blog. I noticed that your blog wasn’t on the list Nibaq made. Was there a reason for this? If so, please let me know so that I will remove your blog from my list but ’till then, I’m keeping it 🙂

    Keep up the great work, and hey, maybe you might even rub off on me and I’ll be able to write a poem of my own haha

    Ok, take care sweetie.

    Reply

  6. AyyA
    Oct 02, 2004 @ 14:10:00

    Dear D&G
    I am honored to be on your list of blogs. And about the other list” Nibaq made”; I have no idea what are you talking about. I’m new in the blogging bussiness, and learning something new every day. Please nawreeni. I’m still struggling to add some photos on my blog to make it more presentable.
    And as for poetry;
    I started writing long back, but my poems always ended up in the garbage.
    But when I started my e-mailing thingy; as a funny gesture, I replied my friends with rhyming type a’ mail. Most of then encouraged me to write, and one of them was sooo keen about it and sent me web sites to get into competitions and connect with critics, and so on. Now I’m really grateful for what she has done. So you never know may be someday you’ll start writing and I will be the one behind it 😉

    Reply

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